


The Ugly Truth

by Lizzyc807



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, cs au ff, cs ff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2015-05-14
Packaged: 2018-03-30 13:09:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 40,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3938017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lizzyc807/pseuds/Lizzyc807
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma Swan is the producer for a local morning show called Wake Up Storybrooke. Due to low ratings her boss, Robin comes up with an idea that turns her perfectly planned life upside down by introducing Killian Jones into her life. In the midst of everything she manages to meet her decidedly perfect man but is he the perfect man for her?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Humble Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hello Lovely Readers! This is a cross over AU from one of my favorite Rom Coms. I thought that Emma and Killian fit nicely into this universe and I hope you like my little take on this story.  
> As always I appreciate your comments and reviews! You are all lovely!

Chapter 1: The Ugly Truth

Emma Swan, the producer for the local morning show, Wake Up Storybrooke, always made sure her clothes were neat and tidy. She kept her long blond hair in a tight braided bun; all strands were slicked in place at all times. She was the picture of professional perfection at all times.  She prided herself in doing an outstanding job and it consumed most of her time leaving little spare time for a personal life.  She didn’t mind most of the time because she felt like she was accomplishing something and she was proud of the end result. There were times that she did feel lonely. Her heart would remind her every so often when someone she knew got engaged or had a baby. Her friendships were mostly office mates and she didn’t have family aside from her frisky cat Baelfire.  

She dated but it was difficult for her to find a man who could live up to her standards. She didn’t want to settle for anything less than perfection so she kept a check list of qualities and character traits that she most admired in a partner.  She didn’t think that it was too much to ask for someone who prided themselves the way she did. She would meet men who met some of the criteria but very few that met many or all of the items. That left her kissing a lot of frogs at the end of the night and overly frustrated. She still tried though because she was a hopeless romantic. She really believed he was out there for her and she wouldn’t stop looking until she found the one. She knew it was just a matter of time before fate intervened and she found him. Either that or her assistant Ruby would track him down for her.

 Her production assistant Ruby was her accomplice in finding suitable men to date. Ruby knew how hard she worked and often setup dates for her since she knew that she’d neglect doing it for herself. Ruby always kept the check list in mind too when searching for suitable candidates on the dating website SBMate.com. Ruby also managed to dig up extra background on the dates for Emma so that she could be fully prepared when she met them. It might have been a little over the top but she liked to be in control of the situation and she also believed she could never be too prepared. After some of the frogs she dated she couldn’t be too careful. Storybrooke wasn’t exactly the hotspot for the Prince Charming type.

Things hadn’t been going well lately. They were experiencing low ratings and the weatherman quit. She was called into her boss and station manager, Robin’s office as soon as she got there. She was told that they needed to find a way to attract viewers because they were losing market share to other local affiliates and if they didn’t step it up soon they could be cancelled. Apparently there was a guy on public access channel 83 that was pulling higher ratings than they were. This would be a tough situation but she felt like she could handle it. She could rally the troops and pull in some new ratings.

When she left his office she felt down but she empowered herself with a little speech in her mind to work harder and come up with new ideas. The pep talk was soon derailed when she walked into her office to find three segment producers yelling at her with problems. The news anchor’s Mary Margaret and David were a married couple, having a bit of marital troubles lately. They were constantly bickering and talking about each other behind their backs whenever they had the chance.

Her Reality and Entertainment TV producer, Belle and her Sports segment producer, Grumpy were at odds too fighting for more air time for each of their segments.

She also had six little guys waiting to audition for the job of the new weather man. They were all referred by Grumpy. When she looked at all of the head shots she thought maybe Happy had the best smile and could likely pull it off.

The screeching and yelling was getting out of control. None of them were looking at her directly and they kept bickering back and forth.  Finally, she pulled a whistle out of her draw and blew it causing them all to stop what they were doing and pay attention.

“Guys, I understand you have troubles but now is not the time. Would you please take it outside and we will schedule time to work it out later?”

They left grumbling and shoving each other. She pushed the intercom and called Ruby into her office. The woman was quick she’d give her that. If only she could dress just a bit more professionally some of the men might get more work done.

“Thank god you’re here. We need to come up with some ideas quick. Robin is on a rampage.”

“Just calm down. Have you had your cocoa yet today?”

“No, but I can get it later. We need to come up with some ideas for the show before we get cancelled.” They spent the rest of the morning and afternoon brainstorming ideas to offer at the producers meeting the next day. Ruby was about to leave when she stopped quickly. “Emma, don’t forget you have that date with Victor this afternoon. I printed this background information about him too.”  

She took the sheets of paper from her and looked at his photo. “Right, Right, Maybe I should skip it and stay here and keep working. I need to come up with good ideas.”

“Emma, look at him. Look at his bone structure. That could be the bone structure of your future children. You can’t cancel on him. You’ve already rescheduled twice and he has 9 out of 10 items on your check list.”

She smiled at her friend warmly.“You’re right. Thank you Ruby. I really appreciate that you look out for me.”

“Have a great time! I want details when you get in tomorrow. If you skip out on this guy again I’m going to take him.” said the pretty brunette with the big eyes smiling back at her.

 “Thanks for looking out for me Ruby!”said Emma rushing to the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She arrived at the restaurant where she and Victor decided to meet for a drink. She walked up to the hostess when she didn’t see him immediately.  

“Excuse me have you seen a man with blond hair, about 5’8 / 5’9, I know not very tall but he’s read the Great Gatsby twice?”

“I can read it a third time if it helps.” said the handsome man walking over from the near bar with a drink in hand.

 “Hi I’m Emma. I’m sorry I’m late.”

“Victor, I’m glad you could finally make it.”

The waiter brought them to a cozy table off to the side from the regular bustling patrons.

“Would you like some water?”asked the waiter.

Victor looked up at the waiter and smiled.“Yes, we’ll take a bottle of flat water.”

She cocked her head to the side and held onto the waiter’s arm.“Wait, did you know that there was a law passed now that restaurants have to filter their drinking water which makes it essentially the same as bottled water except you don’t have to pay $7 dollars for it.”

“Yes, but I like the taste better. “

She nodded letting out a breath and releasing the waiter’s arm. Victor tugged on the waiter’s apron.

“While you are at it get me a scotch on the rocks too please.”

The waiter nodded.

She pulled the pages from her bag that Ruby printed for her. “Your profile said that you like red wine.”

His eyes went wide. “You printed my profile?”

“Well no but my associate producer did. She likes me to be prepared. Well I like to be prepared. I’m always prepared. Kudos by the way on the comprehensive car insurance.” She smiled and took a sip of her overpriced water.

A look of confusion crossed his face. “That’s not in my profile.”  

“No but it’s in your background check.”

He looked at her with wide eyes and took a sip of his drink.

“So tell me about yourself.”

He smirked at her question. “What’s left that you don’t already know?”

She looked at her pages. “That’s true.”

There was an uncomfortable pause and the waiter brought them some bread sticks.

She reached into her bag and pulled out some cards. “I was afraid this would happen so I took the liberty of printing out some talking points.”

He took a sip of his drink and took the cards from her.“So this has happened before I take it?”

“Well no but you have 9 out of 10 of the necessary attributes on my checklist.”

“Oh dear god” he mumbled under his breath.

“Ooh let’s start with number 3.”she said enthusiastically.

He just shook his head looking around uncomfortably.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Several thoughts crossed her mind regarding the flop of a date that she’d just left deciding it didn’t matter if he had all those checks marked off, he still wasn’t right for her. She walked slowly along the stone path towards her home. She lived in a condominium, the front door led directly out into a courtyard. The path was under the cover of tall trees that made the place feel homey. That was one of the reasons she chose to live here. It was a peaceful retreat after a long day at the station.

 She stopped by the mailbox and grabbed her mail. She unlocked the door and her cat Baelfire came running up to greet her. He was an orange tabby with white stripes. He was always trying to run through the door to get outside. She had to be quick about getting in and shutting the door or he would dart outside. He already had a run in with several of the other cats in her development and she wasn’t interested in looking to find homes for any more kittens.

She held him up and scolded him. “No, Baelfire. You can’t go out. Leave those other cats alone.” He meowed loudly and she let him go.

She took of her coat and hung it neatly in the front closet before going back to her room and getting ready for bed. She walked in, picked up the TV remote and turned on the nightly news so she would have a little company. It was an exhausting day and nothing seemed to be going her way. She was pretty sure that was the worst date she had ever been on even if he did have a lot of the qualities she hoped for in a partner.  He certainly seemed to drink a lot. Oh well, she needed to focus on her career now anyway.

She was getting ready for bed, listening to the nightly news in the background when she heard the channel change. Baelfire laid on the remote control changing the channel. Of course it would be the program that Robin was gushing about in his office earlier in the day.

The host was one of the most attractive men she’d ever laid eyes on. He had dark hair and piercing blue eyes and a slight scruff on his chin.  He was wearing a black V-neck T-shirt that hugged his form and loose fitting jeans. She picked up the remote control and turned up the volume. He had a lilting accent and a voice that was smooth as silk. She was intrigued by him so far.

She noticed that he had a very strange set consisting of two mannequins dressed as pirate wenches, a large metal red grill and an old desk. Hanging behind that circus act was a sign with the show name, “The Ugly Truth” written in white with a black outline around it.

She sat on the edge of her bed and listened intently as he spoke.

“I’m Killian Jones and we’re back with the Ugly Truth. I’ll be taking callers on our topic tonight:

_What men and women really want from a Relationship?”_

He picked up some books from the desk and held them out in front of himself.“So I’ve been doing some reading.”

“Smart women foolish choices.” He tossed it in to the grill.

“Men who love women who hate them.”  He tossed it into the grill.

 “Women who love men who love women who hate loving them blah blah blah.” He tossed it into the grill.

She was appalled. She got up picked her own copies of those books from her nightstand still watching him intently shaking her head.

 He picked up a gas can and poured it on top of the books and tossed a match in to light them on fire.

 “You see Billions of dollars are spent each year on this psychobabble. Listen up ladies because I’m only going to say this once.  All you need to know is three words. :

_Men are Simple._

Forget this, Men are from Venus crap, It’s is a waste of your time and money. You want to be a lonely hag, then that’s fine keep reading these books. You want a relationship here’s how you do it – It’s called a stair master. Get on it and get skinny.  Get some trashy lingerie while you’re at it. All we are interested in is looks. No one falls in love with your personality at first site. We fall in love with your tits and your arse. We stick around for what you are willing to do with them. You want to win a man over you don’t need 10 steps you need one and It’s called a _blow job_.  And don’t forget to.” He said as he bent down and picked up a marshmallow on a stick and ate it swallowing it with a gulp.

She picked up her phone and dialed the number on the screen. She was appalled.

He sat behind his desk and clicked on the phone’s flashing button. “First Caller, you’re on the air.”

“How dare you burn those books? They’ve really help me get through some tough times.”

“What’s your boyfriend’s name princess?”

“I-I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“My point exactly Shrek! Next caller you’re on the air!”

Emma was pissed now. How dare he discount those books that she too read for comfort and advice? She needed to be in control and those books gave her the steps to do it.

“Next caller you’re on the air!”

She paced back and forth holding the phone tight in her grip.“So you’re saying Men are incapable of love?”

“I’m sorry did I burst your little harlequin romance bubble? What? come on?”he said mockingly.

“The only thing you burst is your credibility. Men are completely capable of experiencing love”

“Ok, I’ll bite. Who’s the guy? Who is this Mr. Wonderful?”

“He’s smart. He is handsome but he doesn’t know it. He is successful but in a job that means something. He loves red wine and picnics.” she said wistfully.

She watched as he was making snoring noises and mocking her.

“Wait this guy can’t be from America. You’re not calling from Europe are you?”

“He loves dogs but he is really a cat person. He never gets up before you on a Sunday morning. “

“Wait a second I get it you’re a lesbian?”

“What?”

“Well you must be. You just described the perfect woman.”

“Why are you so threatened by these qualities? Is it perhaps because you don’t possess a single one of these qualities and that is the real reason that women are not interested in you?”

“I’ll give you a hundred bucks of my own money if you go get this guy and bring him down here so I can meet him.”

“Well he’s out there somewhere.”

“Wait a second? You’re not even dating this guy?”

“No, I’m describing a type. I thought that’s what we were doing.”

He laughed heartily. “You don’t even know him? Whoa, whoa now I get the picture. Hold on? You’re a dog. You must be.”

She sat down on the edge of her bed feeling defeated. “What?”

“Well you must be or you would be out breaking some poor schmuck’s heart instead of fantasizing about Mr. Wonderful. Face it, you’re ugly.” he said pounding on an alarm on his desk.

She felt affronted. “I am not ugly.”

“Well ok let me help you out here. You might as well face the fact that you’re going to be alone and stop pining away for some fantasy guy you’re not going to get.”

“How could you possibly know?”  

“Lass, the show is called the Ugly Truth. If you can’t face it don’t call.” He said hanging up their call.

_Well that about wraps it up for the evening. I’m Killian Jones reminding you that the truth is never pretty._

She sat at the edge of her bed dumbfounded watching the program end. She was fuming now. Of course the perfect man was out there. He had to be.

 

 

 

 


	2. Rude Awakening

Ch 2: The Ugly Truth

 

After her phone call with Killian Jones the night before she felt like she needed to look extra pretty. She wasn’t a dog, she was beautiful. She couldn’t help it if she had high standards and she wasn’t going to let some blowhard from cable access sway her confidence.

She dressed in a pair of black slacks, a white scoop neck blouse and a light blue sweater. She also wore her favorite boots that gave her extra confidence when she needed it. She walked with her head held high through the station. She carefully filled her coffee mug and walked to the meeting with her team.

“Hey Emma, How was your date?”asked Ruby intercepting her around the bend.

“I liked the restaurant, it was a nice choice but that’s about it. Other than that it was probably the worst date I’ve been on in awhile.”

Ruby frowned.“Really? He was so cute though?”

She smiled at her friend. “I whole heartedly give you my permission to call him. I think he might actually be perfect for you.”

“Hmm, Maybe I will.”

They walked into the room and sat down with the others waiting for Robin to get their daily meeting started.  Mary Margaret, David, Belle, Grumpy, and Ruby sat around the table sharing ideas for new segments and specials for the show. She created a list of ideas that she wanted to share for sweeps week in hopes of getting their ratings up.

Robin came bounding into the office with a big grin on his face. “Good Morning everyone! I have something to show you and I’m really excited about it. Please take a look at the monitor.”

Everyone sat back and looked up to watch the show. Emma’s mouth opened wide with shock. It was Killian Jones and The Ugly Truth blaring at them. His Ugly alarm going off in front of him in all its blaring glory and then her voice coming through saying I’m not ugly.  She reached for the remote control and quickly turned off the show.

She felt flustered and a blush was creeping over her cheeks. “Why are we watching this?”

“Say Hello to our new guest commentator. I’m starting him off at two segments a week. Three minutes a pop.” said Robin smiling.

“Are you kidding me?”asked Emma.

“Who the hell is this guy?”asked Grumpy.

“His name is Killian Jones. “said Robin.

She huffed out a breath. “He’s an uber moron misogynist who represents everything that is wrong with television and society.”

“I get crap every time I suggest something remotely fluffy or fashionable but this is OK.” said Belle.

Robin began pacing around the table smiling at each member of the team. “Aww Come on, he’s got a point of view. We don’t have to like it. We’re news people, we’re objective. Archie Hopper of SBNC interviews villains but that doesn’t mean he likes them. He does it for the ratings. “

She stood up from the table and shook her head. “I have a whole list of ideas right here to help us boost the ratings. You’re going to love it. We don’t need him.”

The rest of the table was also in agreement with her. No one wanted to give up time for their own segments in favor of offering a newcomer their beloved space.

Robin looked over her list and grimaced. “An Intimate profile of the mayor?”

“Yeah, Regina is intriguing.”

“Yeah, I like how she dresses.” said Belle.

“Unless you can get her pole dancing at the Rabbit Hole and turning tricks in the back nobody is going to give a shite.” said Killian. The bastard had a smug look on his face as he sipped coffee out of a mug with the station logo on it.  

He was dressed in a casual pair of jeans, a light blue body hugging T-shirt and a black running jacket unzipped down to the center. It also appeared that he’d already been hired as he had an entry badge hanging around his neck.

Everyone at the table was staring in shock.  She couldn’t help but stare him down. If she could shoot daggers from her eyes she would at that moment. She took a deep breath and pretended to look over her list. She sat back at the table and gathered up her pages.

Robin was laughing and patting him on the back. Clearly Killian had already become his new pet project and she was going to have to deal with the corporate pressure whether she liked it or not.

“What did I tell you, isn’t this guy great?”asked Robin smiling.

“Thanks Boss.” said Killing patting Robin on the back.

She couldn’t hold it in any longer. “You already hired him?”

Killian walked towards her and she felt his eyes crawl all over her.“Who’s this delightful creature?”

 “I’m your producer.” She said smugly.

He extended his hand and she reached out to shake but he pulled it up to his lips pressing a light kiss against it.

“I like a woman on top.” he smiled at her with a wink.

She retracted her hand and blinked her eyes quickly with her mouth open at his incredulous behavior.  She looked around the table and each woman including Ruby’s expression matched her own.

“Oh My God” mouthed Ruby.

Emma nodded.

Robin was laughing at everything he said and did as he probably thought he was his salvation in this ratings race.

“Emma, he’s just kidding.” said Robin.

Killian walked over and grabbed a donut from the side table high fiving David as he walked by.

“Oh sure he is.” said Emma smirking.

“Hey Killian did you see your office?”asked Robin.

“No, I didn’t.” said Killian with a mouth full of donut.

“Oh, come on. Let me show you. Everyone take five. I’ll be right back.” said Robin. Killian followed along with him out of the conference room.

“Were you all not there last year for our sexual harassment meeting?”asked Emma in an irritated tone.

“David, were you not there?”asked Mary-Margaret crossing her arms in front of her.

“He wasn’t sexually harassing me.” said David smiling.

The room was heightened with tension after Robin left. When he returned they had their normal daily meeting to go over station activities but she just didn’t feel like herself. He had her flustered and the day just began. She was still not happy that corporate didn’t trust her to make decisions for her show and went around her.

She retired to her office to collect her thoughts avoiding contact with the others who seemed to understand that she needed space. She was pacing her office reminding herself that she was an award winning news producer. She kept repeating it like a mantra. She could do whatever she needed to do to get things back on top again.  Suddenly her door opened.

“You’re an award winning news producer?”said Kilian smiling his blue eyes gleaming.

She raised an eyebrow and glared at him.

“Don’t you knock?”she asked with a twinge of anger in her voice.

She knew what happened between them last night but he didn’t know. She needed to be the professional that she was after all he was working there now. She tried to compose herself but it was very difficult with him looking at her as though she was a steak and he was a ravenous dog.

“I did knock but you didn’t answer lass.” said Killian in his smooth as silk voice.

“So essentially you’re knock was completely negated by your lack of social etiquette that follows a knock. You should wait to be invited in before you barge in unannounced.”

“Whoa, you’re wound up like a fucking top.”

She stared him down and decided to remind him about their discussion.“Woof Woof. Remember the bark. A little phone conversation we had?”

His eyes widened in understanding. He relaxed his stance pointing in her direction.“Aye, What do you know? You’re not ugly at all.”

She shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. “Oh, well imagine my relief.”

 “You know, I wanted to thank you for getting me this gig. I never would have gotten it without you. You and I we make quite the team.” said Killian smiling and nodding at her.

She stood and placed her hands on the desk in front of her.“You make imbecilic trash that is watched by house bound inbreds who are so busy with their hands down their pants that they can’t change the channel.”

He flashed her a toothy smile. “I hadn’t really been picturing you that way but that’s a nice image lass.”

She felt her blood begin to boil. “I do not watch your program. My cat stepped on the remote.”

He looked at her, his eyes shining brightly. “You want to thank your pussy for me then?”

 She rolled her eyes and made a gagging noise as she walked away from him and out of her office. She needed to get away from him as soon as she could. She was so angry. Her composure went right out the window.

She needed to get rid of him. He was everything that compromised the integrity of the news that she loved.  She looked over her shoulder to see him standing their smiling and watching her walk away. He waved and winked at her. She shook her head in disgust.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Emma met up with David and Mary-Margaret who were putting on their finishing touches back stage. David had those ridiculous white papers tucked into his collar so he didn’t get any make up on his clothes. He had on a blue pin stripe suite with a blue and white striped tie over a crisp white button down shirt.

Mary-Margaret was wearing a body hugging blue dress that was very low cut in the front. Her dark hair was cropped short framing her face and her makeup was flawless. They were perfect compliments of each other. They still appeared to have a lot of tension between them as their body language suggested.

Emma was still fuming as she moved towards the stage area. She took a deep breath.

“Are you alright?”asked Mary Margaret.

“It’s Killian Jones. He just gets under my skin. I don’t want him here.”

“He seems alright to me.” said David looking up from his notes.

Emma and Mary-Margaret gave him a look of death.

“Ten minutes to air time!” Called the camera man.

“Listen, I need you to be the accomplished news people that you are today. I need you to skewer Killian Jones.  I want him to go up in flames. I want Killian Jones to be nothing more than a pile of ash when you are done with him. I want the janitor to come in and vacuum him up and then I want him to throw the ashes into the dumpster. Then I want the rats and bugs to vomit and defecate on Killian Jones ashes. That still won’t be good enough.”

She could feel her nostrils flaring as her angry thoughts swirled around in her mind. Mary-Margaret was looking at her intently with a worried gaze nodding. David was grooming himself in his mini mirror and looked up nodding. She stormed to the control booth.

“Wow, I thought you were angry and bitter.” said David rolling his eyes.

“No, David that would be my untouched vagina. ”said Mary-Margaret smirking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He was so excited to be going on live network television.  Something good was finally happening for him. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to get a shot on one of the premier shows in Storybrooke. It might be small to others but it was big to him.

He entered the set that was mostly blue tones. It had a large blue desk in front with a Storybrooke logo on the front in white and blue. There were 3 chairs setup behind the desk and a flat screen TV monitor hung on the wall behind them. He rubbed his hands together and came forward taking the open seat next to Mary Margaret.

David and Mary-Margaret were bickering back and forth about some sort of bird being in David’s dressing room. Mary-Margaret had an affinity to birds for some reason and they were always following her around. She claimed they could understand her and she liked talking to them. It wasn’t her fault he left the window open and he should be more careful next time. David shook his head in frustration.  

He shook his head thinking it couldn’t get any weirder than those too. The control man gave them the signal that the countdown was beginning and the trio straightened up into their on air stance smiling brightly.

 “3 . 2.  1” said the cameraman.

“Good Morning Storybrooke.”said David.

“For years there have been worries about television lowering standards but this man and his local public access show have brought things to a new low. With that we welcome Killian Jones. ”said Mary Margaret smiling.

Killian winked towards the camera and smiled.

“Good Morning.”

“Killian how do you respond to people who say your show is offensive.” Said David.

“Well it is, but then again so is the truth.” said Killian.

“The truth about what Mr. Jones?” asked Mary Margaret in a serious tone.

“What relationships are really like; take Marriage for instance. It’s about social pressure, status, and sex. If it weren’t for these three things men and women wouldn’t even speak.”

“Oh Dear, it sounds to me like no one’s ever loved you and you’re taking it out on the female population.” said Mary Margaret.

David laughed.

“Hmm, while we are making these observations Mary Margaret, you both project this image of the perfect couple when clearly it’s a lie. “

“Excuse me.” said David looking agasp.

“Come on David, you used to be this cool confident gentleman.  You had a swagger that had women dropping at your feet and dropping their panties. What the hell happened, Mate?”

“I – I ..”stammered David.

“ And you Mary Margaret. This lass is no dummy. She knew the only way she was getting off the weekend shift was by hooking up with you. Lo and behold she became more popular than you did making twice your salary.”

“Hold on pal, I’m very proud of my wife’s success.” said David.

“You are so full of bologna.  You hated her success. You feel emasculated by her. That screws with your head. Which in turn screws with your manhood.”

He got up and walked over behind David putting his hands on his shoulders.

“What’s your point Mr. Jones?”asked Mary Margaret raising an eyebrow speaking through gritted teeth.

“Mary Margaret, my point is that your husband hasn’t had sex with you in what three months?”

He looked at David for confirmation.

“That’s not my fault.” said David sheepishly.

“You’re right, it’s her fault.”

“What am I supposed to do? Turn down the money so he can get an erection?”said Mary Margaret in defeat.

“I agree with you, but you’ve economically emasculated your husband to the point where he is afraid to want you. Sure you could dump his arse but have you seen the eligible men in Storybrooke? It’s slim picking out there for a woman. ”

Mary Margaret nodded her head and smiled at David.

Killian put his arms around both David and Mary Margaret standing in between them.

“You aren’t going to do any better than David. You have to let him be a man.”

“I’ve let him be a man. I’ve tried to let him be a man.” said Mary Margaret.

“Yes, you have to let me be a man.” said David.

“You have to let him be a man.”

Killian pushed David’s chair closer to Mary Margaret.

“Now you Frowny McFlacid kiss your wife.”

“I’m not frowny.” said David.

Mary Margaret huffed.

“Does that mean what I think it means? I’m not flacid.” said David.

He his eyebrows and looked towards the camera. “Just kiss her mate!”

He could see Emma freaking out in the control booth up ahead and it just made him smile wider.

“Mary Margaret, damn it let me be a man.” said David pulling her up from her seat and closing his mouth over hers for a deep body hugging kiss that lead to a make out session on camera.

He turned to the couple pointing at them with a shit eating grin plastered across his face. “And that my friends is the Ugly Truth.”

David stood up from his chair, picked up Mary Margaret and threw her over his shoulder carrying her off the set.

“Let me be a man!”said David.

The pair were giggling as they left, clearly he’d gotten them back on track. He was smiling and he could see Emma in the booth waving her hands wildly above her. The on air light went off. He stood, raised his hand to his brow and saluted in her direction.   She was looking back in anger arms crossed over her chest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Emma watched the segment intently hoping that Killian would be tripped up and laughed off the stage but the man was fully at ease. He flowed back and forth stumping both anchors at each turn. He found their vulnerability and used it to create an upheaval right in front of her that Robin was eating up.

She was also distressed to find out that Robin and corporate overruled her command of the set and she was unable to cut the segment when things became inappropriate or heated. She just stood and watched teeth gritted and hopeful that her team would do her justice and tame this wild dog but it never happened. She looked around the booth and her team was smiling and enjoying the segment.

“Now that was some great TV! Great Job everyone.” shouted Robin as he walked out of the control booth.

She let out an exaggerated breath and stormed out.

“Don’t let him get to you Emma.” said Ruby grabbing her arm and pulling her back.

“Do you know how hard I’ve worked to keep crap like that out of this show? He said _erection_ on live tv! ”

Ruby nodded furrowing her brow.

Emma’s features softened towards her friend. “Of course you do. You are always there for me . If anyone knows how frustrating this is it’s you. I’m sorry I yelled at you Ruby.”

“No problem Emma. I understand.” said Ruby.

“I just need some time to think.” She gave her friend a sad smile and walked off.

She entered her office and closed the door. She lay back against the door and surveyed the room. She felt all the control she had this morning slipping away. She felt like she could get sick. She needed more of an escape so she moved towards her closet which would hide her from anyone walking by. Her office was basically a wall of windows with a door that didn’t afford her too much privacy. She walked inside, closed the door behind her sliding down the wall and hugging her knees to her chest. She closed her eyes so she could think.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m sure she’s in here.” called Ruby.

She woke with a start. She realized she was still sitting in her closet. She had no idea how long she’d been in there. She heard voices outside in her office and then the door knob turned and light came crashing in. She grimaced.

“Emma, are you alright?” asked Ruby extending her hand to help her up off the floor.

“We got 1148 calls, 300 emails, 53 percent of them were women. This guy is a lightening rod. “said Robin smiling.

She stared at him in shock.“They liked him?”

 “Liked him? They loved him! 93 percent of it was positive.” said Robin grinning from ear to ear.

Ruby was smiling at her.

“How is that possible?”

“I don’t know but I am scaling back the news and giving it to The Ugly Truth.” said Robin.

“Robin, I really think this is a mistake. What do we even know about this guy? Who is he really?”

Ruby ran through her checklist. “Ah, he moved here with his father and sister when he was ten. He pitched two no hitters in little league championship games. That’s cute. Voted most likely to get slapped in his High school year book. He spent three years in the Navy.  He was once arrested for urinating out of a moving vehicle. That is actually incredibly challenging. He’s never been married. He hates asparagus.”

She nodded in disbelief.

“Look, let’s just keep a smile on this guy’s face and we’ll both get our contracts renewed.” said Robin giving thumbs up as he left her office.

“Congratulations.” said Ruby hesitantly.

Emma walked back into the closet and closed the door as she thought about everything she worked for sliding into the gutter.

 

 

 

 


	3. Beautiful Discovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Lovely Readers! The madness continues. Learn a little about Killian and Emma meets her hot new neighbor, could he be the perfect man? I love this crossover and I hope you do too. Someone keep Baelfire away from the neighbors cats, although I bet the kittens are adorable.

Chapter 3: The Ugly Truth

Killian lived in the garage apartment behind his sister Ariel’s house. Ariel was divorced and had a 14 year old son named Henry. After Ariel’s husband left, he decided to move back to town to help her with the bills and look after Henry when she needed it. Since they didn’t have their father around much growing up he wanted to offer the boy some stability. His actual father wasn’t around very often.

 Ariel’s husband took a job on a merchant cargo ship and lived away from Storybrooke for months at a time. Henry took it hard when his dad left and Ariel was grateful to have him there to help. Henry had been getting into fights and causing trouble at school.  

His influence really helped get him back on track and seemed to make all the difference. Before coming back to Storybrooke he’d been working on wall street. He saved a good bit of money and was tired of living the fast life. He was only too happy to get away from the rat race and settle down back in their small town when she called him with the news about Henry.

 He’d also needed to get away from a toxic relationship with a woman named Milah who neglected to tell him that she was married when he met her. Her husband was involved in some sort of organized crime ring back in New York so that was another reason for him to get out of town quickly and cut ties with her all together.  She never brought him anything but trouble but he was too far in to see it. A mob threat was the wake up call he needed to realize he was done.

He came home reeling from the amazing day he’d had at work.  His dream of bringing his show to network TV came true and he was making money again. Even though he had a savings he wanted to be a contributing member of society. That was how he was raised. His father was a dock worker who was a bit rough around the edges but a hard worker when he was able to be.

 His father also never seemed to get over his mother’s death. He drank himself into an early grave. If it weren’t for Ariel he probably wouldn’t have gotten along as well as he did. His sister always seemed to keep positive regardless of her situation and they worked together to keep life moving. His sister was a nurse at a local nursing home that allowed her decent hours so that she could be home with Henry by dinner time.

He would admit to anyone that he liked being with women. It was obvious that he did but he never really found one woman that could make him happy for long.  So he really just put effort into having fun. His sister would tell people that he was afraid of commitment but he knew better that he just hadn’t been good at making choices in the types of girls he dated. He decided to keep things on the surface and he wouldn’t get hurt. Not again. 

He walked into his humble garage apartment and saw the answering machine’s light blinking. He put down his mail and pushed the button to check the messages.

_Hey Killian its Lauren. I’m having a party and you know what happens when I drink tequila. Beeeeep_

He crossed himself, kissed his fingers up to the sky and took off his jacket. Lauren was a lot of fun when she drank tequila and he certainly remembered her.

_It’s me Nikki why haven’t you called me._

“Hey. Who’s that? ”asked Henry.

He tried to stop the message. _I miss you. I can’t stop thinking about your huge._ He pounded on the machine. _rubbing all over my dripping wet._ He pulled the plug on the machine to stop the message from playing in front of Henry.

He felt the heat rushing to his cheeks as he tried to change the subject with him. “Hey kid. How was school ?”

The boy sidled up next to him and he gave him a hug before they walked back towards the main house.

“Well you totally hosed me. “said Henry.

“What?”

“Last week on your show you said to be mean to hot girls because they will want you more; well I tried it on Grace, she cried and I got detention.”  

He looked at the poor rejected face on his nephew and shook his head. “First of all don’t listen to what I say on my show lad. Second of all, you’re supposed to do that to 25 year old girls who are hot and think they can get any guy they want. Not 14 year old girls who are going through puberty. They have enough problems.”

Henry sighed.

The pair flopped on the couch and he flicked on the TV. He leaned over, ruffled the boy’s curly brown mop of hair and grinned.

“My mom said that when she was 14 that she was the prettiest girl in class.”

“Let me tell you something, when she was 14, I was there and she lied.” he joked noticing that she stepped into the room.

“Don’t listen to your Uncle Killian. He was blind from touching himself inappropriately.” said Ariel.

She walked over and placed a large cake box down on the coffee table in front of them turned and smirked.

“That’s a nice thing to say in front of your son.”

“Like he hasn’t heard worse while watching your show.”

She squeezed on the couch between them and popped open the lid of the cake.

He was still grumbling from her remark. He’d done fine with the ladies even back then.

“Let’s hope you can clean it up now that you are on a network. Congrats!”

She leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

He smiled looking down into the box at the delicious cake with Congratulations written across the middle. It felt good to have something to celebrate. This was a great day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Emma settled in for another quiet evening at home. She dressed in her comfy silk night shirt and pulled a soft pink hoody over head. She let down her hair and combed her fingers through it exposing all of the curls that the tight braids left behind. She was suddenly alerted to a crash from the other room.

She rushed in to find that her naughty cat, Baelfire, knocked over the fishbowl. There were broken pieces all over the floor along with the gravel, plants, and water was getting everywhere.

She bounded towards the cat to try to deter him from grabbing the flailing fish. “Baelfire No!”

Baelfire ran through the room towards the open window and jumped out into the yard. She pulled open the front door and he was climbing the tree in front of her condo.

“Baelfire No!”

It was too late. He was already up in the tree.

“Baelfire! Shit, alright I’ll just come up. Just don’t move.  That’s all I need is for you to knock up another cat. Last time it cost me so much money to find those kittens a good home.”

She climbed up into the tree and grabbed him holding him close so that he wouldn’t wiggle away. She looked down and began to worry about getting out of the tree safely while holding him. She looked up and noticed that her neighbor across the way had his window open.  When he stepped out into view he was wrapping a towel around his waist. He was a fine specimen. He had nicely coiffed reddish blond hair and a lean physique. He was also dripping wet.  

“Oh My.”she gasped. She was literally a peeping Tom but damn he was hot!

Baelfire purred loudly in her arms as she stroked his soft fur. She clasped her hand over his mouth so they wouldn’t be caught and continued to watch her sexy neighbor as he finished his hygienic routine.  He brushed his hair back slowly showing off his biceps and she nearly fell out of the tree.  She knew she shouldn’t be watching but he was too delicious not to. As he walked closer to the balcony he became in full view. He was beautiful with a symmetrical squared jaw. He was rubbing dental floss in his teeth, something she did regularly too. Good hygiene was high on her list.

She snuggled Baelfire closely but she struggled to keep him in her arms and started to lose her footing in the tree.

All of the sudden the tree branch that she was standing on gave way and she came crashing down. She was left hanging upside down in the tree with her feet holding her in place in the branch above. She was stuck and needed help.

“Ahhh! Somebody help me!”  

 She let go of Baelfire as her night shirt hung down in her face exposing her white silk underwear and her tummy for the entire world to see.

 “Somebody help me. Please somebody help me. I’m stuck in a tree. Anybody” she yelled as her arms flailed over her head.

Baelfire sat looking up at her purring and meowing. Of course the man she’d been watching would come to her rescue.  The gorgeous man came running out of his apartment wearing nothing but a towel.

“Help me, I’m stuck in a tree! I’m stuck in a tree!”

“Whoa whoa, calm down.”

“Please get me down, please get me down.” She reached out and tried to grab hold of him as she was swinging but accidentally pulled off his damp towel exposing him in front of her. She was dumbstruck at the picture standing before her.  With her eyes wide she looked up at him. Wow was all she could think seeing him up close and personal.

He laughed and picked up the towel from the ground, wrapping it back around himself.

She felt the blush creeping over her cheeks. “I’m so sorry.”

“Hold still ok?”

She nodded. He pushed her up and she was able to grab the branch and pull herself up into the tree. Then he helped her down out of the tree but she noticed a pain in her ankle and she couldn’t put full pressure on it. “Ow!”

“Why don’t you come with me and let me take a look at that for you. I’m a doctor.”

She couldn’t help looking up into the pretty blue eyes that were gazing at her with concern.  She nodded her head as she was speechless at the moment. He helped her into his apartment and he sat her onto a chair.  She noticed that there were half unpacked moving boxes all over his place.

He grinned and started back towards his bedroom. “Make yourself at home. I’m just going to grab some clothes. Sorry for the mess. I’ve just moved in.”

She surveyed the room. He had nice taste from what she could see. It was masculine and modern. He had a leather couch with a dark cherry wood coffee table in front of it. He had a TV mounted above his fireplace and two very tasteful lamps on each side of the dark brown leather couch. She sat in a comfy leather chair with an ottoman in front of it.

“This is a nice place.”

He came walking back in wearing a soft gray button up short sleeve Henley, and dark blue sweatpants that hung low on his hips showing her the delicious curve of his muscles. She smiled wide at the memory of what was hiding underneath.

She was grinning from ear to ear trying not to be too fidgety.“So you just moved in? I’m Emma. I live across the square.”

He sat down on the stool in front of her and pulled out an ace bandage. He examined her foot and ankle before he wrapped it up. “I’m Graham.”

“Graham, So you’re a doctor.  Wow!”  She couldn’t stop grinning and could already feel her eagerness to know him getting the better of her. She tried to flirt as best as she could in this situation but she felt it might be coming off awkward.  

“I’m an orthopedic surgeon actually. I do a lot of leg and hip stuff but I do get the occasional foot.” She looked over and he was smiling at her as he held her foot.

She couldn’t help but giggle at this perfect man.

“Look your ankle seems to be ok. Looks to me like a mild sprain so you should be fine.” He climbed from the stool in front of her and extended his hand to help her up.

She took his hand and climbed out of the chair slowly. “Great. I guess I’m pretty lucky that my cat chose the tree outside your window to climb.”  

She wasn’t ready for this to be over.  She was standing in front of him looking him over and she noticed that he seemed to be looking her over too. She was glad she was wearing something slinky and feminine at that moment and not her favorite T with the holes in all the wrong places.

“Well I’m here if you ever need me. Look I’m going to put my home number on the back of my business card. If your ankle starts giving you any problems you can give me a call.”

“Great, thanks.”  She stood there waiting for him and twisting her hair on her finger. She couldn’t stop grinning like an idiot.

_“Meow”_

Baelfire was wrapping himself around Graham’s legs and purring. “Oh wow, that’s weird. He usually doesn’t like men.”

He bent down and picked him up.”Well you know, dogs are great but I’m a cat person.” he said as he rubbed his nose against Baelfire’s little head.

She let out a little sigh and smiled as wide as she could. She felt like the air just went out of her as she watched him snuggle her cat close and pet him.

“I guess I’ll get going then.” she said breathlessly.

He looked at her and their gaze locked. She didn’t want to leave.

“Ok”, he said eyeing the door still holding her cat.

She was in a daze as she walked towards the door looking over her shoulder and smiling. Had she just met the perfect man that she described the other night? She was afraid that she would wake up from this dream any minute.

“Thanks again for saving my life. Bye” she said walking out the door and closing it.

She was jumping up and down, dancing like a fool outside of his door at this chance meeting.  Then she realized that she was missing something. _Baelfire._ She heard the door open at her back and quickly stopped jumping. She looked up to see him smiling brightly.

“You forgot your cat.”

She had to think quickly.“Ooh, I had a spider on me. It’s gone now.”

He nodded and seemed to have missed her doing that completely dorky happy dance in front of his place. She took Baelfire from him and wrapped him in her arms cuddling him close to her body.

“Thanks again.” she said smiling.

“Alright, goodnight.” he said.

“Bye.” she said grinning.

She strode back over to her condo with a large grin on her face tucking his card into her bra. Today was a good day after all. She kissed Baelfire on the head a few times in thanks for his bad behavior.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When she got to the station she still had the same huge smile on her face that she had when she left Graham’s the night before. She noticed Ruby in the coffee room and ran to her.“Ruby, I need to talk to you.”

“Ohh, I’m intrigued. What’s got you so excited this morning? I’m glad to see you are no longer hiding in your closet.”

She was grinning from ear to ear thinking about Graham. “I met someone last night.”

“Details now!” said Ruby stopping in her tracks.

“His name is Graham. He’s a doctor. He just moved in across the square from me. He flosses. He loves cats. His home is impeccable. Did I say he’s beautiful? “

“Are you sure you actually met this guy and he wasn’t in a dream that you had?”

“Oh, no he’s real. He rescued me from the tree outside of my condo.”

“Wait you were in a tree outside of your condo spying on your new hot neighbor and he had to rescue you?”

“Yeah, well I was trying to get Baelfire down and I just happened to see him walking around in a towel and then, yeah I just happened to be spying on him when I fell.”

“Hold on, did you say he was in a towel?”

“Yeah, well he was wearing it when I saw him and then when he rescued me and it might have slipped off at one point and I got to see him in his full birthday suit. All I can say is happy birthday to me!” said Emma jumping up and down dancing her ridiculous happy dance.

“You saw him Naked!”shouted Ruby.

“Shh, keep your voice down. And yes.” said Emma smiling.

“Are you going to see him again. Did he ask for your number?” asked Ruby.

“I don’t know. No. He gave me his card and put his home number on the back. He said I could call him if I had any trouble or any time. What do you think? Should I call him and if I do call him what should I say?”

“I think that if you have this perfect man across the square from you and he gave you every number he has to reach him. I’d say that he likes you too. You’d be a fool not to jump on that. And also – no Tap water. Please sweetheart, don’t bring it up.” said Ruby.

“OK. No Tap water” said Emma.

Now both women were jumping up and down with joined hands in a circle. Emma noticed Killian sitting in the makeup chair. He had an attractive brunette working on his makeup for the show. He was smiling but she caught him watching her out of the corner of his eye. It also appeared that the woman was flirting with him.

“Hang on a sec.” she said to Ruby and marched over towards Killian.

“You have naughty eyes.” said the woman.

“Everything that’s on me is naughty.” said Killian smiling.

Emma walked up behind him glaring at the girl. The makeup artist looked at her and stepped heel to leave right away.

“Bye Karen.” said Killian. He turned to focus his full attention on her.

She looked rather angry already so early in the morning. Her blazing green eyes set their site on him as a target.  She looked beautiful today. Her hair neatly pulled back as always and she was dressed in a green silk blouse and black pants. He couldn’t help but notice her. She was pretty but seemed rather uptight.

Emma leaned down so she was staring directly in his face.

“Keep it clean. Keep it moving.  Stick to the script. You are on a live affiliate news program. You do not have the luxury of using the words _blow_ and _job_ in the same sentence. If you say anything scatological, you will be fired.”

He stood and whispered into her ear. “Oh really because I kind of thought that you were the one who was going to be fired if you didn’t keep me happy. Yes!  I have a list of demands that I’ll give you after the show and I’m going to warn you that they will be scatological.”

 He was looking at her with those mischievous blue eyes that she couldn’t help but gaze into and smiling with that smug expression. He had her. She pushed his ear piece into his ear and pulled the white tissue papers from his neck.

“Ow.”

“Big Baby.”

“You know just because you look pretty today I won’t mention the misguided phallic rage that you just displayed.”

“You hear my voice just do what I say.”

He laughed. “Promise you’ll talk dirty?”  

She laughed back at him mockingly.

“Just do what I say.”

He got to her again but she wasn’t going to let it fester. She met the man of her dreams last night and she was walking on a cloud. No she wasn’t going to let Killian Jones and his too blue eyes and seductive smile get under her skin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was show time again. He entered the stage and sat in his place next to Mary Margaret and David. He was excited because now he was a feature segment. The audience responded positively to him and he was happy. Emma might not like what he had planned but it was going to be fun. 

“3. 2. 1. – you’re on the air”, whispered the camera man.

“Good Morning Storybrooke. I’m David Nolan.”

“I’m Mary Margaret Nolan.”

“I’m Killian Jones and this is _The Ugly Truth_. We will be taking a few minutes each day to talk about Men and Women in relationships.  Let’s start with Men. _Men are Simple_.” He said walking over to the side of the stage.

“ To illustrate my point, here we have a classic romantic setting.”  He pointed towards a mock candlelight dinner setup with a violinist, a bottle of champagne and a couple looking intently into each other’s eyes.

He continued walking off the set and over to the side. The camera man began following him even thought it seemed to alarm everyone that he was going off script. The people in the control booth were glaring at him and waving their hands. He smiled but continued with his plans walking off the set and outside of the studio.

“Now over here we have something quite different. Follow me.”

Emma ordered the camera man to follow him out of the studio with the remote camera and they were to keep the show moving forward no matter what happened.

David and Mary Margaret watched the monitor behind them intently. The camera followed Killian out to the parking lot behind the studio.

He waved  his arm to show that there were two women in skimpy bikinis wrestling in a baby blow up pool full of red jello.

“Babes wrestling in jello.” He said smiling.

Emma watched from the monitors in the back with a disgusted look on her face.

“Emma, there are people calling in freaking out. “said Ruby holding two phones to her head.

She kept watching intently counting in her head to keep cool.

“Let’s take a quick survey and see which option the men would prefer classical music and candlelight dinner or semi-naked chicks wrestling in jello.” said Killian into the camera.

He sat on the edge of the pool. The bikini girls reached up and grabbed Killian pulling him into the pool. They pulled off his shirt and started smearing the jello all over him. He was smiling while the girls wrestled each other over top of him.

Emma rolled her eyes and picked up the headset/microphone that was connected to Killian’s ear piece.“Tighten up the camera on the girls. ”

“You want to keep rolling?”said her programmer.

“Yes, if he’s going to do it. We’re going to milk it.”

She put on the headset. “Two, get ready to wide, one tighten up on his hand.”

 She spoke directly into the little microphone so Killian could hear her.“Lick the jello off of her finger.”

Killian was thrown off visibly listening to her. He was being sloshed around in a pool of jello as the girls continued to wrestle on top of him.

“Lick the jello off of her finger. Just do it.”

Killian grabbed one of the girls fingers, put it into his mouth and sucked off the jello.

“Mmm. Strawberry.” he said grinning from ear to ear.

The girls were pulling him back into the jello with them covering him further.

“Back to you in the studio Mary Margaret! Bye!” The cameras faded out as Killian was tackled under the jello.

Mary Margaret was stunned. She sat there with her mouth gaping open.

“When we come back we are going to see how Penny the Porpoise is doing. Can she clear that ten foot pole with a ball. When we come back.” said David.

“When we come back.” said Mary Margaret still dawning her stunned expression.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Emma was standing behind stage taking deep breaths trying to calm down.  

“Chemistry! I smell a threesome. I can still taste you. You know what I mean.” said Killian as he came walking in dressed in a terry cloth robe his arms wrapped around the bikini wrestlers.  

The girls continued walking forward and he stopped in front of her. Emma winced at that remark as she stood waiting for him back stage. Her brow pinched together and her lips in a straight line.

“Do you realize that I once had the Archbishop Desmond Tutu on this show?”

“Who’s that?”

“I can’t even demonstrate how far we’ve fallen because you’re not smart enough to get the references.”

He followed her knowing she was angry.

“Swan wait, I thought we were quite the team back there.”

“Do you understand how much I hate myself for that? That was cheap titillation.”

“You were the one who told me to lick the jello.”

“I’m going to end up in broadcasting hell behind the naked weather girl from Canada.” She quickly drifted down the hall with him not far behind her. “Seriously? There’s a naked weather girl? Hey can we get her?” She just shook her head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night Emma had a dream. She had given up on her journalistic integrity. She gave in to all of her bosses demands and she became the naked weather girl for Wake up Storybrooke. She envisioned herself with floating clouds covering her boobs and her lower body as she directed her viewers toward the weather pressure systems floating on the monitor behind her.  She woke up in a cold sweat. She got ready for work like she normally did and trudged into the office prepared for the worst.

She and Ruby were sitting in the break area having lunch.

“I used to love caviar until I found out it was fish eggs.” said Ruby.

“Yes, caviar is revolting.” said Emma.

“Good morning ladies. Here are the latest ratings. “said Happy.

She took the copy of the ratings report from him and looked it over while she continued preparing her coffee. She was filled with mixed emotions about the news. “I guess I should be happy. “

“Yeah, you’ve never gotten a 12 share before. “said Ruby,

“I just can’t help but feel dirty.”  She shook a packet of sugar into her hot liquid.

Killian came walking up into the room strutting like a peacock and grinning from ear to ear.“Swan, did you hear about the ratings?”

“Well I am the producer.” she said smugly.

“Well did you hear about the visit from corporate next week? They are coming to take me out to dinner.”

She looked up to see him grinning as he pulled a mug from the cabinet. “Well let’s just hope you can eat with your mouth closed.” He pulled her by the arm and forced her to face him. “Why do you hate my guts?” His too blue eyes were mesmerizing her again. She shook herself out of it. “Your innards of no consequence to me it’s what you represent.”

“Oh, you hate the truth?”

“Your skewed perception of male and female interaction is not the truth.”

“But your imaginary boyfriend is the truth.”

“For your information I happened to meet him. He does exist.”

“Well I hope he’s real this time otherwise this is just sad.” He smiled as he continued to make his mug of coffee.

“Oh, he’s real. He’s very real. Not to mention he’s stunningly handsome. He’s morally sound. He’s a surgeon. An orthopedic surgeon.”  She wasn’t sure why she felt the need to defend or explain this to him but she did.

“You know what that means. He had to stick his finger up some guys butt in medical school. “said Killian taking a sip of his coffee and smiling.

“You disgust me.” She decided to walk away before she said something she would regret.

“So, did butt boy ask you out?” He followed her into her office.

“Not yet, we’re taking things slow. Getting to know each other first.”  She sat behind her desk and glared at him. Clearly he didn’t know when to let up.

“In other words, no he didn’t ask you out.”  He sat in the chair in front of her desk.

She gave him a stern look and pulled Grahams card out from her bag and began dialing the phone. Killian gave her a strange look, cocking his head to the side and raising an eyebrow. She glared back at him.

_“Hello, this is Emma Swan calling to speak to Dr. Graham Humbert. Yes, I’ll hold” she said._

“Swan, What are you doing?”asked Killian.

“Shh.” said Emma.

“Why are you calling this guy?”asked Killian reaching over and reviewing the business card.

“Shh shh.” said Emma pointing at him.

_“Dr. Humbert.”_

_“Hi Graham, this is Emma. Your neighbor.”_

_“Hey Emma, Are you ok? How’s the ankle treating you?”_

Killian got up, went out and picked up the other phone from her office and turned it on to listen in. Emma was waving her arms frantically at him to stop. He put his finger to his lips _“Shh.”_

_“Couldn’t be better. I was just calling you to tell you how much I enjoyed meeting you.” said Emma._

_“Thanks”_

_“I was thinking we could go out for dinner sometime.”said Emma._

_“Oh”_

_“There is this great little French bistro in town and an art opening that got amazing reviews. I was thinking we could go on Friday.” said Emma._

_“Uh Friday, uh wow.”_

_“Would Saturday be better?”asked Emma._

_“Emma, the thing is that I haven’t really settled in yet.”_

Killian pulled the phone away from her and hung up.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m saving you. He was blowing you off.”

“He wasn’t blowing me off.”  She felt her voice creep into a higher pitch as she grabbed for the phone.

Killian pulled the phone back from her and hung it back up sitting on the desk in front of her.

“He’ll be expecting you to call him and when you don’t he’ll call back.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I know how men operate lass. If you want it to work out with this guy you’ll listen to me and do exactly as I say. You’ve probably already done irreparable damage with your psycho aggressive control freak phone call. It might even be too late. If you do salvage the situation, you’ll never be more than Emma is desperate neighbor.”

“I’m not desperate. Why did you think I sounded desperate?”

“Listen to yourself desperately asking me if you sound desperate.”

The sound of the phone ringing startled her. Killian put his hand over the phone.

“Listen, although you won’t admit it. I know what I’m talking about.”

“Fine what do I do?”

“Pick up the phone and say Hey Doug.”

_“Hey Doug”_

_“This is Graham, who’s Doug.”_

“Tell him it’s a guy you’re seeing. Nothing serious.”

_“He’s just a guy I’m seeing. Nothing serious.”_

_“Oh, Ok. “_

“Put him on hold.”

_“Hang on a second.”_

_“Sure”_

Emma pushed the hold button.

“Now what?”

“Just make him wait. If he’s hanging on after 30 more seconds you might actually have a chance with this guy. No one’s going to hold on and wait for someone they are trying to blow off.”

“You better be right about this.”

“Just give me some time and I’ll make this guy your bitch.”

“I don’t want a bitch and Graham would never be anyone’s bitch. He is a mature man capable of love and deep emotions which you know nothing about.”

“Maybe not but I do know about lust, seduction, and manipulation. Things that you know not of.”

Emma shook her head.

“Emma, I’ll make you a deal. If you do exactly as I say you’ll get this guy. You’ll quit giving me shit and you’ll work with me. You know as well as I do we can make this show huge.”

“And what do I get?”

“If it doesn’t work, then I’ll quit.”

“You’re really that confident?”

“Aye that I am. It has been more than 30 seconds and he’s still holding.”

“Alright deal. Now what.”

Killian grabbed the phone and hung it up.

“Always make an impression. Let’s get a move on we have work to do.” He rose from his seat and started out the door.

She looked at the phone dumbfounded, pointing to it and looking out after him as he walked away.

“In five seconds he’ll call back. Come on.”

“Who are you Nostradamus?”

She got up to follow him giving one last look back at her phone and it rang. She turned around with an astonished look to see him grinning.

“I told you.”

“Amazing.”


	4. The Rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Can Killian help Emma get the perfect man? Doesn’t that sentence just sound wrong but what do they know. I hope you are enjoying this story so far. :D More to come.

Chapter 4: The Ugly Truth

He decided he was hungry and it would be best to take this conversation out of the office. They head to a local place called Granny’s to discuss how she would get Graham to fall for her. Granny’s was the first thing they could both agree on. They both loved her onion rings.

 She knew he was right and it did feel like Graham was going to blow her off.  She really liked Graham and so far everything Killian told her was the truth even if she hated to admit it. She felt seeing this thing through with him would be a good test.  If she didn’t try it the worst case would be that she didn’t get Graham anyway but she also would be free of Killian in the process. It would be a win-win either way in some respects although she secretly hoped Killian was right. If she could have chosen a man from a catalog Graham would have been it. He not only had all of the items on her checklist but a few she didn’t even think she’d ever get.

They got a table in the back so they could talk more privately. She didn’t want everyone in the town to know of her plight or her plan. She prided herself on being in control and together. He ordered some coffee and she ordered her usual cocoa with whipped cream and a sprinkle of cinnamon on top. They also had two orders of onion rings coming.

She picked up her cup and took a sip. She looked up when she heard him laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

He picked up his napkin and swiped at her nose. “You’ve got a bit of whipped cream on your nose lass.”

She felt the blush creep up on her cheeks. “Thank you.”

He nodded as he stirred his coffee. “Men are not complicated. They are simple Love. I’m going to give you a set of rules that you must follow on your dates with Graham. Use these as a guideline to help you keep your inner control freak at bay.”

She huffed out a breath. “I’m not that controlling. Are you sure you want to use that much sugar in your coffee? It’s not good for you.”

Killian rolled his eyes putting his fingers in between his eyes and rubbing his brow. She was already trying to control him too. “Just follow these rules and you can’t lose.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Trust me. Have I steered you wrong so far?”

“No, I suppose you haven’t.”

“ _Rule number one_ : Never Criticize.”

She set her cup back on the table and looked at him smirking.“Even if it’s constructive?”

“Never.  Men are incapable of change, growth or progress. For men self improvement ends at toilet training.”

She raised her eyebrows and nodded in understanding.“Huh.”

“ _Rule number two_ : Laugh at whatever he says.”

“What if what he says isn’t funny?”

“Swan, that is irrelevant. A fake laugh is like a fake orgasm.”

“A fake orgasm is good?”

He grinned. “No but a fake orgasm is better than no orgasm at all.”

She rolled her eyes and huffed.“A fake orgasm is no orgasm.”

“Only to you Love. You’re not the only person in the room you know. Let’s not be selfish.  You’ve got to stroke his ego.”

She laughed heartily, picked up her cup and took a sip.

“Now that was perfect. Real or fake?”

She looked up and smiled. “You’ll never know.”

She could do this and it might actually be fun.

“Rule number three: Men are very visual. We have to change your look.”

She felt affronted.“What’s wrong with my look?”

“Swan, you’re a very attractive woman but you are completely inaccessible. You’re all about comfort and efficiency.”

“What’s wrong with comfort and efficiency?”

 “Nothing except no one wants to Fuck it.”

She closed her eyes and gulped down the sip she had in her mouth. “Fine, what do I need to do?”

“We need to head to the shops.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She didn’t care if her clothes were comfortable but if she wanted to get rid of Killian Jones she needed to play along. Their next stop of the day was to a local boutique downtown. She wasn’t a big shopper and she knew what she liked. This was the first time she was ever here and she had to admit the clothes were fashionable. She would probably come again on her own another time.

 

“Scuse me Lass.” Killian snapped his fingers and the store clerk came over. The clerk was fawning all over him from the minute she was in our presence. He did exude this sexual aura and a lot of women seemed unable to resist his charms. If she saw him on the street she would turn her head, it was just when he started talking that he turned her off.  

 The clerk sidled up to Killian practically rubbing her breasts against him.“Hello, may I be of assistance?”

Emma huffed.

“Aye. We need some tight jeans, cocktail dresses, and some bras that will make my friends breasts stand up and say Hello.”  He stood in front of her and pretended to push up her breasts, all the while grinning.

She rolled her eyes and looked down at her boobs. “They’re not saying hello now? What are they saying?”

“They’re giving off more of a passing nod than an outright greeting. Here let me get you something to try on.” said the clerk. She brought forward a lacy see through demi cut bra.

Killian took the bra from the clerk and held it up over her breasts.“Now, that is a bra.”

“I’m wearing that one right now.” whispered the clerk to Killian.

Emma rolled her eyes.

He admired the bra against her. “This bra says put your boobies in my mouth they taste good.”

 She snatched  the bra from him. “Fine I’ll try it on.”

He looked at the clerk who was hungrily looking him up and down.“What have you got in formal wear?”

She shook her head and followed him as they moved towards the dresses.  The clerk was holding up a tight cheetah print dress against herself and Killian was looking her over. He put his hand to his chin and rubbed his scruff.

“Length is very important. We need a dress that is short enough to see thigh but not so short that we see vag.”

The clerk chimed in agreement. “Vag says you’re trying too hard.”

“Ya think?”

“Let me get a few options for you.” said the sales clerk.

“You know I’m not completely inept at this.”

He leaned in close and smiled. “Love, I’m just trying to tell you what men want to see. I know you can look pretty. I want to see you look HOT.”

She gulped at his proximity. He really did seem to exude sex appeal. She followed them into the jeans section.  She had to admit it was actually kind of fun even though this wasn’t her idea of a normal shopping trip. She always shopped alone. She knew what she wanted before she got to the store and most of the time she would just order the clothes online to save herself the trip to the store at all.

He took her hand and twirled her around in a circle. “Jeans are all about the curvature of the arse. You’ve got the raw materials Swan. Now you just need the proper presentation.”

 “Did you just tell me I have a nice ass?”

He swat her on the arse.“Do you always have to be so crass?”

She turned to face him catching his gaze and smiled.

She bought a number of the items that Killian suggested looked good on her. He said she would be mouth wateringly addicting. He certainly could turn a phrase.

They walked down Main Street on their way back to her condo. She was going to make herself over in a trial run so he could provide her some tips. She had almost forgotten that she blew off Graham earlier on the phone because she was having so much fun.  Killian said that there would be a chance that Graham would stop over to see her if he was interested; after all he did sit on hold waiting for her to return. They walked the stone path towards her condo.

“Swan this is important. _Rule number four_ , never talk about your problems. Men don’t really listen or care.”

She frowned. “Some men care.”

“No Love, some men pretend to care. When we ask how you’re doing its just guy code for : Let me stick my dick in your arse.”

“Ugh! So rude! Is that all you think about?”

“Swan, I know you think Graham is above it all but trust me, he’s a guy. If he’s even remotely into you he’s thought about each one of your orifices at least ten times. What do you think I’ve been telling you, men are simple.”

“I love how you assume all men are as perverse as you.”

He cocked his head to the side and winked. “Oh, I don’t assume Love. I know.”

She twisted the key in the lock and opened the door.“I hope you are wrong.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She started towards her room to unload her bags.“Make yourself comfortable. Drinks are in the Fridge!”

“Swan, while you are up there let down your hair. I want to see what we are working with. You’ve always got it wound up so bloody tight!”

“Ok!”

He walked around checking out her place. She kept a neat home and her décor was tasteful.  He popped open her fridge and helped himself to a bottle of beer. He popped it open and sat in the comfy gray chair in the corner. He grimaced when he found yarn and knitting needles in next to the chair. He placed it on the floor next to the chair.

_“MEOW”_

Her cat came running into the room and came up to him. He was a cute little fellow. He was rubbing his face against his leg and swirling his tail around looking for attention.

“Swan, your cat won’t leave me alone.”

“That’s Baelfire. I’m surprised he came up to you. He usually doesn’t like men.”

He picked up her cat and it nuzzled against him. He scratched his furry head and he purred loudly.

“So you’re the one I have to thank for helping me get this gig.”

He looked up when he heard the clacking of her heels against her hardwood floors. She was a vision. She entered the room in a form fitting, low cut, black dress that hugged all of her curves in the right places. The dress was the perfect length to show off her lean beautiful long legs. Her hair hung in long loose golden curls down around her face. He couldn’t help his jaw from dropping open when he saw her.  

She strode into the room and did a little twirl for him. When she turned around she revealed that her dress was extremely low cut in the back showing off her arse in just the right way. He gulped hard. Baelfire wiggled out of his arms and ran away.

She was staring at him smiling. “Well, How do I look?”

He was dumbfounded. He knew she was pretty but she was drop dead gorgeous. “Uh, not bad.”

 She looked down at the low cut on the front of her dress exposing more of her breasts than she usually allowed. “I just don’t want to be perceived as a bimbo.”

“Swan, You have to be two people. The saint and the sinner.  The librarian and the stripper. On one hand you have to push the guy away with cold indifference and the other you have to be a sexually teasing tornado.”

She grinned raising her brow. “Ok”

He got up from his chair and approached her carefully. “Now we have to teach you how to flirt.” His lilt sounding deeper than he’d like.

She rolled her eyes. “I know how to flirt.”

“Hi, my name’s Emma. I like reading Tolstoy. I also love cats, gardening, and romantic picnics. I don’t think so.” said Killian mockingly in a high pitched voice.

Emma raised an eyebrow.   “Hey babe! Are you wearing any underwear?”said Emma in a deep voice grabbing his arse as he walked by.

Killian jumped at the surprise contact. “You know what? I wouldn’t say that and I wouldn’t grab arse.” He picked up his beer and took a swig.

“What’s wrong with a little ass grabbing.” said Emma in a deep voice and grabbing his arse once again causing him to spit a little of his drink.

“Uh.”

“What’s it there for if it’s not there for me to grab it.” said Emma mockingly grabbing his arse once again.

He moved in front of her. “Ok.”

She looked at him and kept the show going.“You’re just a set of orifices and a set of teetahs.”

He booped her nose with his finger.“You are a deeply, deeply disturbed person Swan.”

She stood directly in front of him her face only inches from his, so close she could feel his breath against her face. Her eyes flicked towards his lips and then to his too blue eyes. He was gazing intently at her again.

“Maybe I’m just a really good student.” she said swaying slightly in front of him touching his chest with her hand and caressing it softly back and forth. She moved slightly closer so her breasts were brushing against his chest.

He could feel her warm breath on his face she was so close. Her body was rubbing against him in all the right places. She was riling him up enough that he nearly kissed her himself. “Would you stop doing that please?”

She bat her eyelashes coyly at him. “Doing what?”

He spoke softly, barely a whisper.“Running your hand across my body like that.”

She leaned up and whispered in his ear.“Why, is it turning you on?”

“Perhaps.”

She pulled back and was practically lip to lip whispering softly. “It’s weird I think I kind of like it.” “Really?”

She laughed and pulled away. “Sucker.”

He picked up his beer and took a swig. “No teaching the teacher.”

Emma laughed.

There was a knock at the door. Killian gave her a knowing look.

“Who is it?”

“Graham.”

She gave him a nervous look. “I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready for this. “

“Calm down Swan, keep the conversation under a minute.”

She grimaced and he pushed her along. “Now go.”

She whispered to herself as she walked to the door. “Under a minute. Under a minute. Under a minute.”

“Wait wait.”

She turned back to face him. “What?”

He smacked her on the arse and smiled.

“You’re such an asshole.”

Killian climbed over the couch and sat down to watch.

She composed herself, pushed up her breasts and opened the door.“Hi.”

“Hey, wow you look great.” said Graham eyes wide and smiling.

She waved her hand in the air. “Oh, yeah just doing the dishes.”

“So what happened to you today?”asked Graham

“What do you mean?”

“You put me on hold and you never called me back.” said Graham with a puzzled expression on his face.

She laughed. “Oh my God. Was that you? I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah It’s ok.” said Graham. He looked over and noticed Killian sitting on the couch.

She quickly remembered, Keep it under one minute. “Graham would you mind giving me a call a little bit later? I need to get back to those dishes.” She pushed him out the door and closed it.

“Emma wait.” He called through the door.

“What now?”whispered Emma.

“Make him suffer.” said Killian.

“Make him suffer.” she whispered.

“Emma, I was wondering if you would like to go to a baseball game with me on Saturday?”asked Graham.

“Yes, sounds good. Call me later.”

She turned around and smiled at Killian. She started doing her dorky little happy dance jumping up and down like a fool waving her arms back and forth. He just looked at her shaking his head. He had his work cut out for him with this one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day of the game came and he devised a plan. They would use the roving microphones and ear pieces from the station so that he could feed her lines while she was at the baseball game just like she did at the station during his segment.  She still didn’t trust herself not to go “Tap Water” at any given time. This was too important. Graham was the perfect man and she didn’t want to blow it.

There were many fans at the stadium today. It was a perfect sunny day for baseball and the temperature wasn’t too hot. She had on jeans, a white button up shirt and a light tan leather jacket. Her hair was curled and hanging down around her shoulders. She felt good. Killian would be sitting one section over from them while they were at the game so he could keep an eye on her.

“Swan, I have a visual. Nod if you can hear me.”

She nodded casually and continued to walk along with Graham taking their seats in the first row of their section.  She was shoving bits of popcorn into her mouth and smiling at him as she tried to stay calm. She felt a nervous pit in her stomach but looked over to see Killian and it settled a bit.

“Relax, it’s going to be fine.”

How did he know she was nervous? Was she twitching or something?  

 “You must do exactly what I tell you, when I tell you to do it ok. ”

She nodded.

“You follow baseball?”asked Graham.

Emma shoved a handful of popcorn into her mouth.

“Do something non-committal.” said Killian.

She nodded, shrugged, and laughed all at the same time. She shoved more popcorn into her mouth and smiled.

“Are you ok?”asked Graham.

“I’m fine.”

“That was a little over the top. Nice try though.” said Killian.

“Well Thanks.” said Emma smugly.

“For what?” asked Graham.

Emma stopped when she realized she said that out loud.

She patted him on the chest and laughed.“Huh, well thanks for being you.”

He smiled at her. “You’re welcome.”

They sat happily watching the game and just enjoying the atmosphere. It was the seventh inning and she was comfortably leaning against Graham’s shoulder watching the game.

“Emma, would you like a drink?”

“Sure, that would be great.”

He called out to one of the vendors.“Excuse me?”

At the same time one of the fans noticed Killian in the stands. A girl with a trailing ponytail climbed up on him and hugged him tightly. Her boyfriend was not too happy about it and pulled her off causing a stir in the stands.

He pushed back. “What the fuck?”

She listened and repeated. “What the fuck?”

Graham gave her a look of surprise. “What?”

He quickly realized the mistake. “I’m not talking to you.”

She repeated again.“I’m not talking to you.”

“Did I do something wrong?”asked Graham raising an eyebrow.

“No, stop listen tell him you saw him looking at another girl. That was a mistake.” He felt awful, that could a detrimental blow to her relationship.

“I- I- I saw you looking at another girl.” stammered Emma.

“Who?” asked Graham.

She pointed to the vendor. “That girl right there.”

“I was trying to get us a couple hotdogs and a beer for you.” Laughed Graham as the vendor walked towards them.

She huffed and waved it off. “Oh ok ok.”

She looked towards Killian and mouthed Oh My God.

He tucked down in his seat and tried to think of a comeback.

Graham paid the vendor for the hot dogs and handed her one. She was mortified. She couldn’t think of any way she was going to be able to recover after that disaster. That was worse than Tap Water in her opinion.

“Ok we need a quick recovery. Make sure you put the hot dog in your mouth nice and slow when you eat it.”

She nodded and started putting the hot dog into her mouth as he suggested taking a small bite.

“Men like to watch women eating penis shaped foods.”

She backed her hand away so quickly that she knocked Graham’s beer all over his lap spilling the contents on his pants.“I’m so sorry. Oh god, I’m so, so sorry. You know what I can get this up. “

“No, its ok.” said Graham.

She grabbed some napkins and started wiping furiously on the crotch of his pants to dry up the liquid. “I’m sure I can get this out. What kind of fabric is this?” She wiped continuously back and forth over his pants.

“Cotton,  I guess.” said Graham in a shaky voice.

She continued to rub furiously .“Well cotton isn’t so bad. You know leather is the worst. Well maybe suede.”

The fans in the stadium started going wild. The camera man zoomed in on Emma and Graham in the stands. Killian closed his eyes and shook his head.

“Swan Look up. Swan Look up. Look UP!”

She looked up to see that they were being shown in a heart shape on the kiss cam for the entire stadium to see. It appeared as though she was giving him a hand job at the stadium. She was mortified. All of the fans were cheering. The charge song was playing loudly for all to hear. She sat back in her seat quietly and sunk down pulling into herself.  She didn’t think anything could be worse than tap water, she was clearly wrong.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the date the road home in silence.  They walked slowly up the path towards the square in front of their condos. She was looking down at the ground feeling embarrassed after what happened. Clearly she’d ruined her chances with the perfect man.

Killian trailed them and hid in the bushes. “Ok, I’m in position.”

Graham gave her a soft smile. “Well I can’t say today was boring.”

“Oh, you’re being nice.”

“No, you’re just not what I’m used to.”

She blew out a breath.”Oh, I know.”

“No, actually it’s a good thing. I’m used to women I can figure out in five seconds but I can’t do that with you.”

She looked up to see his blue eyes were gazing at her intently. She felt mortified standing in front of him waiting for the boom. She knew she screwed this up. She stood there waiting for the boom.

“This guy is an idiot. I figured you out in two. Now we are going to give him one last shot. Tell him goodnight and stick your tits out.”

She did as he said. “Well, goodnight then.”

Grahams eyes gave her a once over. She turned to walk away into her condo.  He grabbed her arm and pulled her in for a kiss. He cupped her face with his left hand and held her with his right. He kissed her slowly and gently. She felt her lips mould to his as they tingled with delight. She pulled back slowly smiling.

“That definitely made up for my wet crotch.”

“Haha me too. No scratch that. I didn’t have one.”

He laughed. “Yeah. I’ll see you later.”

She walked to her door and turned back.“Bye.”

“Bye.”

She watched him walk to his door. He turned around when he got there and waved before entering his home.

Killian felt a twinge of something as he watched her kissing Graham. He shook his head and waited for Graham to go inside. When the man was out of site he emerged from behind the bushes.  She came rushing up to him.

“You did it. you did it. you did it.” she said jumping up and hugging him.

He held her against him softly.“No, no it was you.”

She pulled back and smiled.

“Don’t ask me why but I think he likes you.”

Emma was beaming. “He’s such a great guy right?”

“Yeah, he’s dreamy.”

“And he fits all 10 criteria on my check list. Probably more.”

“Though weren’t items one through nine pretty much him being gay?”

She bounced back towards her condo. “I’m going to ignore that because I’m in such a good mood.” “Yeah, I heard that. Wet Crotch.”

She turned and stuck her tongue out at him before walking in the door. He walked off slowly looking back. He had a strange feeling in his gut after spending so much time with her. It was making him question his own methods.


	5. Let's Get Personal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Can Killian help Emma get the perfect man? Doesn’t that sentence just sound wrong but what do they know. I hope you are enjoying this story so far. :D More to come.

Chapter 4: The Ugly Truth

He decided he was hungry and it would be best to take this conversation out of the office. They head to a local place called Granny’s to discuss how she would get Graham to fall for her. Granny’s was the first thing they could both agree on. They both loved her onion rings.

 She knew he was right and it did feel like Graham was going to blow her off.  She really liked Graham and so far everything Killian told her was the truth even if she hated to admit it. She felt seeing this thing through with him would be a good test.  If she didn’t try it the worst case would be that she didn’t get Graham anyway but she also would be free of Killian in the process. It would be a win-win either way in some respects although she secretly hoped Killian was right. If she could have chosen a man from a catalog Graham would have been it. He not only had all of the items on her checklist but a few she didn’t even think she’d ever get.

They got a table in the back so they could talk more privately. She didn’t want everyone in the town to know of her plight or her plan. She prided herself on being in control and together. He ordered some coffee and she ordered her usual cocoa with whipped cream and a sprinkle of cinnamon on top. They also had two orders of onion rings coming.

She picked up her cup and took a sip. She looked up when she heard him laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

He picked up his napkin and swiped at her nose. “You’ve got a bit of whipped cream on your nose lass.”

She felt the blush creep up on her cheeks. “Thank you.”

He nodded as he stirred his coffee. “Men are not complicated. They are simple Love. I’m going to give you a set of rules that you must follow on your dates with Graham. Use these as a guideline to help you keep your inner control freak at bay.”

She huffed out a breath. “I’m not that controlling. Are you sure you want to use that much sugar in your coffee? It’s not good for you.”

Killian rolled his eyes putting his fingers in between his eyes and rubbing his brow. She was already trying to control him too. “Just follow these rules and you can’t lose.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Trust me. Have I steered you wrong so far?”

“No, I suppose you haven’t.”

“ _Rule number one_ : Never Criticize.”

She set her cup back on the table and looked at him smirking.“Even if it’s constructive?”

“Never.  Men are incapable of change, growth or progress. For men self improvement ends at toilet training.”

She raised her eyebrows and nodded in understanding.“Huh.”

“ _Rule number two_ : Laugh at whatever he says.”

“What if what he says isn’t funny?”

“Swan, that is irrelevant. A fake laugh is like a fake orgasm.”

“A fake orgasm is good?”

He grinned. “No but a fake orgasm is better than no orgasm at all.”

She rolled her eyes and huffed.“A fake orgasm is no orgasm.”

“Only to you Love. You’re not the only person in the room you know. Let’s not be selfish.  You’ve got to stroke his ego.”

She laughed heartily, picked up her cup and took a sip.

“Now that was perfect. Real or fake?”

She looked up and smiled. “You’ll never know.”

She could do this and it might actually be fun.

“Rule number three: Men are very visual. We have to change your look.”

She felt affronted.“What’s wrong with my look?”

“Swan, you’re a very attractive woman but you are completely inaccessible. You’re all about comfort and efficiency.”

“What’s wrong with comfort and efficiency?”

 “Nothing except no one wants to Fuck it.”

She closed her eyes and gulped down the sip she had in her mouth. “Fine, what do I need to do?”

“We need to head to the shops.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She didn’t care if her clothes were comfortable but if she wanted to get rid of Killian Jones she needed to play along. Their next stop of the day was to a local boutique downtown. She wasn’t a big shopper and she knew what she liked. This was the first time she was ever here and she had to admit the clothes were fashionable. She would probably come again on her own another time.

 

“Scuse me Lass.” Killian snapped his fingers and the store clerk came over. The clerk was fawning all over him from the minute she was in our presence. He did exude this sexual aura and a lot of women seemed unable to resist his charms. If she saw him on the street she would turn her head, it was just when he started talking that he turned her off.  

 The clerk sidled up to Killian practically rubbing her breasts against him.“Hello, may I be of assistance?”

Emma huffed.

“Aye. We need some tight jeans, cocktail dresses, and some bras that will make my friends breasts stand up and say Hello.”  He stood in front of her and pretended to push up her breasts, all the while grinning.

She rolled her eyes and looked down at her boobs. “They’re not saying hello now? What are they saying?”

“They’re giving off more of a passing nod than an outright greeting. Here let me get you something to try on.” said the clerk. She brought forward a lacy see through demi cut bra.

Killian took the bra from the clerk and held it up over her breasts.“Now, that is a bra.”

“I’m wearing that one right now.” whispered the clerk to Killian.

Emma rolled her eyes.

He admired the bra against her. “This bra says put your boobies in my mouth they taste good.”

 She snatched  the bra from him. “Fine I’ll try it on.”

He looked at the clerk who was hungrily looking him up and down.“What have you got in formal wear?”

She shook her head and followed him as they moved towards the dresses.  The clerk was holding up a tight cheetah print dress against herself and Killian was looking her over. He put his hand to his chin and rubbed his scruff.

“Length is very important. We need a dress that is short enough to see thigh but not so short that we see vag.”

The clerk chimed in agreement. “Vag says you’re trying too hard.”

“Ya think?”

“Let me get a few options for you.” said the sales clerk.

“You know I’m not completely inept at this.”

He leaned in close and smiled. “Love, I’m just trying to tell you what men want to see. I know you can look pretty. I want to see you look HOT.”

She gulped at his proximity. He really did seem to exude sex appeal. She followed them into the jeans section.  She had to admit it was actually kind of fun even though this wasn’t her idea of a normal shopping trip. She always shopped alone. She knew what she wanted before she got to the store and most of the time she would just order the clothes online to save herself the trip to the store at all.

He took her hand and twirled her around in a circle. “Jeans are all about the curvature of the arse. You’ve got the raw materials Swan. Now you just need the proper presentation.”

 “Did you just tell me I have a nice ass?”

He swat her on the arse.“Do you always have to be so crass?”

She turned to face him catching his gaze and smiled.

She bought a number of the items that Killian suggested looked good on her. He said she would be mouth wateringly addicting. He certainly could turn a phrase.

They walked down Main Street on their way back to her condo. She was going to make herself over in a trial run so he could provide her some tips. She had almost forgotten that she blew off Graham earlier on the phone because she was having so much fun.  Killian said that there would be a chance that Graham would stop over to see her if he was interested; after all he did sit on hold waiting for her to return. They walked the stone path towards her condo.

“Swan this is important. _Rule number four_ , never talk about your problems. Men don’t really listen or care.”

She frowned. “Some men care.”

“No Love, some men pretend to care. When we ask how you’re doing its just guy code for : Let me stick my dick in your arse.”

“Ugh! So rude! Is that all you think about?”

“Swan, I know you think Graham is above it all but trust me, he’s a guy. If he’s even remotely into you he’s thought about each one of your orifices at least ten times. What do you think I’ve been telling you, men are simple.”

“I love how you assume all men are as perverse as you.”

He cocked his head to the side and winked. “Oh, I don’t assume Love. I know.”

She twisted the key in the lock and opened the door.“I hope you are wrong.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She started towards her room to unload her bags.“Make yourself comfortable. Drinks are in the Fridge!”

“Swan, while you are up there let down your hair. I want to see what we are working with. You’ve always got it wound up so bloody tight!”

“Ok!”

He walked around checking out her place. She kept a neat home and her décor was tasteful.  He popped open her fridge and helped himself to a bottle of beer. He popped it open and sat in the comfy gray chair in the corner. He grimaced when he found yarn and knitting needles in next to the chair. He placed it on the floor next to the chair.

_“MEOW”_

Her cat came running into the room and came up to him. He was a cute little fellow. He was rubbing his face against his leg and swirling his tail around looking for attention.

“Swan, your cat won’t leave me alone.”

“That’s Baelfire. I’m surprised he came up to you. He usually doesn’t like men.”

He picked up her cat and it nuzzled against him. He scratched his furry head and he purred loudly.

“So you’re the one I have to thank for helping me get this gig.”

He looked up when he heard the clacking of her heels against her hardwood floors. She was a vision. She entered the room in a form fitting, low cut, black dress that hugged all of her curves in the right places. The dress was the perfect length to show off her lean beautiful long legs. Her hair hung in long loose golden curls down around her face. He couldn’t help his jaw from dropping open when he saw her.  

She strode into the room and did a little twirl for him. When she turned around she revealed that her dress was extremely low cut in the back showing off her arse in just the right way. He gulped hard. Baelfire wiggled out of his arms and ran away.

She was staring at him smiling. “Well, How do I look?”

He was dumbfounded. He knew she was pretty but she was drop dead gorgeous. “Uh, not bad.”

 She looked down at the low cut on the front of her dress exposing more of her breasts than she usually allowed. “I just don’t want to be perceived as a bimbo.”

“Swan, You have to be two people. The saint and the sinner.  The librarian and the stripper. On one hand you have to push the guy away with cold indifference and the other you have to be a sexually teasing tornado.”

She grinned raising her brow. “Ok”

He got up from his chair and approached her carefully. “Now we have to teach you how to flirt.” His lilt sounding deeper than he’d like.

She rolled her eyes. “I know how to flirt.”

“Hi, my name’s Emma. I like reading Tolstoy. I also love cats, gardening, and romantic picnics. I don’t think so.” said Killian mockingly in a high pitched voice.

Emma raised an eyebrow.   “Hey babe! Are you wearing any underwear?”said Emma in a deep voice grabbing his arse as he walked by.

Killian jumped at the surprise contact. “You know what? I wouldn’t say that and I wouldn’t grab arse.” He picked up his beer and took a swig.

“What’s wrong with a little ass grabbing.” said Emma in a deep voice and grabbing his arse once again causing him to spit a little of his drink.

“Uh.”

“What’s it there for if it’s not there for me to grab it.” said Emma mockingly grabbing his arse once again.

He moved in front of her. “Ok.”

She looked at him and kept the show going.“You’re just a set of orifices and a set of teetahs.”

He booped her nose with his finger.“You are a deeply, deeply disturbed person Swan.”

She stood directly in front of him her face only inches from his, so close she could feel his breath against her face. Her eyes flicked towards his lips and then to his too blue eyes. He was gazing intently at her again.

“Maybe I’m just a really good student.” she said swaying slightly in front of him touching his chest with her hand and caressing it softly back and forth. She moved slightly closer so her breasts were brushing against his chest.

He could feel her warm breath on his face she was so close. Her body was rubbing against him in all the right places. She was riling him up enough that he nearly kissed her himself. “Would you stop doing that please?”

She bat her eyelashes coyly at him. “Doing what?”

He spoke softly, barely a whisper.“Running your hand across my body like that.”

She leaned up and whispered in his ear.“Why, is it turning you on?”

“Perhaps.”

She pulled back and was practically lip to lip whispering softly. “It’s weird I think I kind of like it.” “Really?”

She laughed and pulled away. “Sucker.”

He picked up his beer and took a swig. “No teaching the teacher.”

Emma laughed.

There was a knock at the door. Killian gave her a knowing look.

“Who is it?”

“Graham.”

She gave him a nervous look. “I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready for this. “

“Calm down Swan, keep the conversation under a minute.”

She grimaced and he pushed her along. “Now go.”

She whispered to herself as she walked to the door. “Under a minute. Under a minute. Under a minute.”

“Wait wait.”

She turned back to face him. “What?”

He smacked her on the arse and smiled.

“You’re such an asshole.”

Killian climbed over the couch and sat down to watch.

She composed herself, pushed up her breasts and opened the door.“Hi.”

“Hey, wow you look great.” said Graham eyes wide and smiling.

She waved her hand in the air. “Oh, yeah just doing the dishes.”

“So what happened to you today?”asked Graham

“What do you mean?”

“You put me on hold and you never called me back.” said Graham with a puzzled expression on his face.

She laughed. “Oh my God. Was that you? I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah It’s ok.” said Graham. He looked over and noticed Killian sitting on the couch.

She quickly remembered, Keep it under one minute. “Graham would you mind giving me a call a little bit later? I need to get back to those dishes.” She pushed him out the door and closed it.

“Emma wait.” He called through the door.

“What now?”whispered Emma.

“Make him suffer.” said Killian.

“Make him suffer.” she whispered.

“Emma, I was wondering if you would like to go to a baseball game with me on Saturday?”asked Graham.

“Yes, sounds good. Call me later.”

She turned around and smiled at Killian. She started doing her dorky little happy dance jumping up and down like a fool waving her arms back and forth. He just looked at her shaking his head. He had his work cut out for him with this one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day of the game came and he devised a plan. They would use the roving microphones and ear pieces from the station so that he could feed her lines while she was at the baseball game just like she did at the station during his segment.  She still didn’t trust herself not to go “Tap Water” at any given time. This was too important. Graham was the perfect man and she didn’t want to blow it.

There were many fans at the stadium today. It was a perfect sunny day for baseball and the temperature wasn’t too hot. She had on jeans, a white button up shirt and a light tan leather jacket. Her hair was curled and hanging down around her shoulders. She felt good. Killian would be sitting one section over from them while they were at the game so he could keep an eye on her.

“Swan, I have a visual. Nod if you can hear me.”

She nodded casually and continued to walk along with Graham taking their seats in the first row of their section.  She was shoving bits of popcorn into her mouth and smiling at him as she tried to stay calm. She felt a nervous pit in her stomach but looked over to see Killian and it settled a bit.

“Relax, it’s going to be fine.”

How did he know she was nervous? Was she twitching or something?  

 “You must do exactly what I tell you, when I tell you to do it ok. ”

She nodded.

“You follow baseball?”asked Graham.

Emma shoved a handful of popcorn into her mouth.

“Do something non-committal.” said Killian.

She nodded, shrugged, and laughed all at the same time. She shoved more popcorn into her mouth and smiled.

“Are you ok?”asked Graham.

“I’m fine.”

“That was a little over the top. Nice try though.” said Killian.

“Well Thanks.” said Emma smugly.

“For what?” asked Graham.

Emma stopped when she realized she said that out loud.

She patted him on the chest and laughed.“Huh, well thanks for being you.”

He smiled at her. “You’re welcome.”

They sat happily watching the game and just enjoying the atmosphere. It was the seventh inning and she was comfortably leaning against Graham’s shoulder watching the game.

“Emma, would you like a drink?”

“Sure, that would be great.”

He called out to one of the vendors.“Excuse me?”

At the same time one of the fans noticed Killian in the stands. A girl with a trailing ponytail climbed up on him and hugged him tightly. Her boyfriend was not too happy about it and pulled her off causing a stir in the stands.

He pushed back. “What the fuck?”

She listened and repeated. “What the fuck?”

Graham gave her a look of surprise. “What?”

He quickly realized the mistake. “I’m not talking to you.”

She repeated again.“I’m not talking to you.”

“Did I do something wrong?”asked Graham raising an eyebrow.

“No, stop listen tell him you saw him looking at another girl. That was a mistake.” He felt awful, that could a detrimental blow to her relationship.

“I- I- I saw you looking at another girl.” stammered Emma.

“Who?” asked Graham.

She pointed to the vendor. “That girl right there.”

“I was trying to get us a couple hotdogs and a beer for you.” Laughed Graham as the vendor walked towards them.

She huffed and waved it off. “Oh ok ok.”

She looked towards Killian and mouthed Oh My God.

He tucked down in his seat and tried to think of a comeback.

Graham paid the vendor for the hot dogs and handed her one. She was mortified. She couldn’t think of any way she was going to be able to recover after that disaster. That was worse than Tap Water in her opinion.

“Ok we need a quick recovery. Make sure you put the hot dog in your mouth nice and slow when you eat it.”

She nodded and started putting the hot dog into her mouth as he suggested taking a small bite.

“Men like to watch women eating penis shaped foods.”

She backed her hand away so quickly that she knocked Graham’s beer all over his lap spilling the contents on his pants.“I’m so sorry. Oh god, I’m so, so sorry. You know what I can get this up. “

“No, its ok.” said Graham.

She grabbed some napkins and started wiping furiously on the crotch of his pants to dry up the liquid. “I’m sure I can get this out. What kind of fabric is this?” She wiped continuously back and forth over his pants.

“Cotton,  I guess.” said Graham in a shaky voice.

She continued to rub furiously .“Well cotton isn’t so bad. You know leather is the worst. Well maybe suede.”

The fans in the stadium started going wild. The camera man zoomed in on Emma and Graham in the stands. Killian closed his eyes and shook his head.

“Swan Look up. Swan Look up. Look UP!”

She looked up to see that they were being shown in a heart shape on the kiss cam for the entire stadium to see. It appeared as though she was giving him a hand job at the stadium. She was mortified. All of the fans were cheering. The charge song was playing loudly for all to hear. She sat back in her seat quietly and sunk down pulling into herself.  She didn’t think anything could be worse than tap water, she was clearly wrong.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the date the road home in silence.  They walked slowly up the path towards the square in front of their condos. She was looking down at the ground feeling embarrassed after what happened. Clearly she’d ruined her chances with the perfect man.

Killian trailed them and hid in the bushes. “Ok, I’m in position.”

Graham gave her a soft smile. “Well I can’t say today was boring.”

“Oh, you’re being nice.”

“No, you’re just not what I’m used to.”

She blew out a breath.”Oh, I know.”

“No, actually it’s a good thing. I’m used to women I can figure out in five seconds but I can’t do that with you.”

She looked up to see his blue eyes were gazing at her intently. She felt mortified standing in front of him waiting for the boom. She knew she screwed this up. She stood there waiting for the boom.

“This guy is an idiot. I figured you out in two. Now we are going to give him one last shot. Tell him goodnight and stick your tits out.”

She did as he said. “Well, goodnight then.”

Grahams eyes gave her a once over. She turned to walk away into her condo.  He grabbed her arm and pulled her in for a kiss. He cupped her face with his left hand and held her with his right. He kissed her slowly and gently. She felt her lips mould to his as they tingled with delight. She pulled back slowly smiling.

“That definitely made up for my wet crotch.”

“Haha me too. No scratch that. I didn’t have one.”

He laughed. “Yeah. I’ll see you later.”

She walked to her door and turned back.“Bye.”

“Bye.”

She watched him walk to his door. He turned around when he got there and waved before entering his home.

Killian felt a twinge of something as he watched her kissing Graham. He shook his head and waited for Graham to go inside. When the man was out of site he emerged from behind the bushes.  She came rushing up to him.

“You did it. you did it. you did it.” she said jumping up and hugging him.

He held her against him softly.“No, no it was you.”

She pulled back and smiled.

“Don’t ask me why but I think he likes you.”

Emma was beaming. “He’s such a great guy right?”

“Yeah, he’s dreamy.”

“And he fits all 10 criteria on my check list. Probably more.”

“Though weren’t items one through nine pretty much him being gay?”

She bounced back towards her condo. “I’m going to ignore that because I’m in such a good mood.” “Yeah, I heard that. Wet Crotch.”

She turned and stuck her tongue out at him before walking in the door. He walked off slowly looking back. He had a strange feeling in his gut after spending so much time with her. It was making him question his own methods.


	6. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Perhaps Killian’s plan is working a little too well. A second date is on the menu but so is something unexpected.
> 
> I hope you are all enjoying this little Cross Over AU. I appreciate all your lovely comments and likes.

Chapter 5: The Ugly Truth

Emma strode into the office on Monday morning as if she were on a cloud. She couldn’t wait to find Ruby and tell her about her date with Graham. She still couldn’t believe that he actually liked her even after the beer debacle. She also still couldn’t believe how right Killian’s tactics had been.  She dropped her bag on her desk and walked out to meet Ruby backstage with her head held high smiling at everyone she saw.

Ruby waved her over smiling.“Emma over here! I want details about your date! Spill it!”

 She went through every excruciating detail of the date including her complete and utter embarrassment over rubbing Graham’s crotch furiously in front of the cameras for the whole stadium to see. She excluded the parts about Killian helping her of course but Ruby was satisfied with the level of detail she provided. She wasn’t about to tell anyone about her deal with him.

“So you thought it was over?”asked Ruby scrunching her nose.

“Yes, it was Tap Water coming back to haunt me.  I resigned myself to believing that a single date was all I was getting. Just when I admitted defeat he surprised me. He pulled me in for the most wonderful kiss. I swear my lips were tingling for an hour after.”

“Oh Emma, I’m so happy for you. I can’t believe the perfect man moved right across from you. You are so lucky!” said Ruby hugging her tight.

“Thank you.”

“That makes what I have to tell you easier. I took you up on your advice and I called Victor. He and I have been dating for about a week now. You were right. He is perfect for me.”

“Really? I’m so happy for you. I should have known the way you were drooling over his profile that I should have begged off and let you have him right away.”

Ruby rolled her eyes and smiled. The two women grabbed hands and started jumping up and down in a circle squealing like school girls at the fact that they both had amazing prospects.

Killian, Mary-Margaret, and David walked by with odd looks slashing across their face at the site of their celebratory dance. The pair composed themselves and went back to work. The show was set to air in twenty minutes and the crew was assembling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killian observed Emma and Ruby acting like children jumping up and down near the stage. He could only assume she was telling Ruby about her date with Graham. He frowned at the thought of her dating that ponce.

“I wonder what that was all about?” asked Mary-Margaret.

“Beats me.”  Said David pulling her in and kissing her on her cheek.

“What’s gotten into you? Not that I’m complaining. ”asked Mary-Margaret.

“Nothing but I know something that wants to get into you later.” He teased.

“David! Killian’s right there.” she said with a blush creeping up her cheeks.

“Don’t mind me Mate. Just glad I could help.” said Killian smiling.

David clapped him on the back and moved to sit in his seat behind the desk next to Mary-Margaret.

For this segment he was dressed in a large ape costume. He had his mask in his hand and sat it on the desk in front of him. He was mentally preparing for the discussion about how monkeys use sex as a means to make up after a fight. That was generally his tactic as well when he’d had a fight with a lady. The makeup sex was always something to look forward to.

He looked up and saw Emma walking into the control booth. She had a big smile on her face. It seemed he was helping everyone in the studio smile. He wanted to pat himself on the back. This was just more proof he knew what he was doing. But there it was, he had that little pit in his stomach when he saw her.  He licked his lips and took a sip of water from the glass in front of him.

 She noticed him staring and looked down giving him the thumbs up. He put his ear piece in and gave her the thumbs up back.

“Killian, just stick to the script ok?”

He smiled.“Swan, I’ve got this.”

“Thank you again for your help.”

He looked up and nodded. She was smiling back at him and he couldn’t help but watch her becoming lost in his thoughts of her.

“I said Are you ready Killian?” asked Mary-Margaret.

“ Aye.” said Killian.

3\. 2. 1. We’re on the air….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She stood back watching the segment. Killian was dressed in an ape costume talking about monkeys and how they have sex as a means to make up after a fight. He was so passionate when he spoke. She had to admit that he was captivating even if he was talking about sex and monkeys. His eyes sparkled under the lights too. Damn him and his beautiful eyes.

“Emma, small person on set.” said Ruby. She turned around and saw a little boy entering the back stage area. He was wearing a visitor’s badge intently watching the set while the monkeys were having sex on screen. She was mortified and quickly walked to deter his eyes.

“Excuse me, this show isn’t for children. I can’t let you watch.”

“No, it’s ok. I know him.”

She looked towards the stage.“Um, OK.”

Killian was wrapping up his segment when he saw Emma talking to Henry on the side of the stage. Once he got over the shock of seeing the boy he quickly walked over to join them. “Hey, Henry! What are you doing here? I told you no watching the show. Especially live lad.” He ruffled his hair like always.

“I need some emergency advice. Molly asked me to the Sadie Hawkins dance. Is it dorky if I say yes?”

Emma stood off to the side listening to their conversation intently. She knew she was eavesdropping but this was fascinating. She needed to know who this boy was to Killian. She wondered if he was a son that he failed to mention. She also wondered why the thought of him having a son bothered her so much.

“Dorky? Bloody Hell No! You’re ahead of the game. The lasses are coming to you. Do you know how cool that is lad? Relish this moment. Now get out of here before your mother has my hide. I’ll see you at 5. We’ll celebrate.” The boy looked up and smiled as he ruffled his hair again.

Emma smiled. He was very sweet to the boy and he wasn’t his normal egotistical self when he talked to him. It seemed Killian Jones had some morals after all. Why did this surprise her so much?

“Ok, don’t forget the pizza King Kong.”

He smiled back waving him off.“Hey, have I ever?”

He saw Emma waiting in the wings and walked over to meet her. She had an inquisitive look on her face.

“He lives with you?”

“Well, next door. With my sister. He’s my nephew.”

 “Oh.” said Emma nodding. She didn’t know why that information made her feel better but it did knowing the boy wasn’t his.

He pointed to the back of his costume and grinned. “Do me?”

 “HaHa very funny.” She spun him around and untied the strings on the back.

He turned back to see her grinning. “So guess what. Graham called and he wants to get together again.”

He grinned, realizing that his tactics worked. “Is that so?”

She sat down in the empty director’s chair next to him as he continued to pull off his costume. He finally freed himself and noticed she seemed to have a far away glance on her face. 

 “So How long should I wait to have sex with him?”

Killian looked at her with wide eyes. “Well the more you make him beg for it the longer you keep him on the hook. So I would do everything else but.  When you finally do it show him that underneath that control freak exterior there is a sexual deviant that is waiting to be unleashed.”

She shook her head. “No, no, I’m not a sexual deviant. “ 

“Let me guess lass, you’ve been out of practice for what a year?”

Emma thought about it putting the pencil to the side of her head. “Hmmm, No, 11 months.”

He pushed her to the side away from lurkers passing by.“Gods lass, 11 months? How do you live? Come on a beautiful woman such as yourself can’t surely have been out of touch for that long.”

She felt a blush creep over her cheeks.”No, that’s right. I just haven’t found anyone worth it.”

His eyes flicked down below her waist and back up to her eyes.“So how often do you?”

“Do what?”

“You know a… flick the bean?”

“What bean?”

He pinched his fingers together in front of her face.“The bean.  Down there.  You know flick it.”

She swat  him on the arm.“OOOOH , that is gross. That’s what you call it. What is wrong with you?”

He grinned, his blue eyes captured that mischievous look again.“I call it masturbating but I thought that might offend your delicate ladylike sensibilities.”

Ruby walked up in the middle of their conversation and gave her a strange look. Emma was shaking her head. She just kept walking leaving them to their conversation.

He whispered in her ear. “So how often do you masturbate? How often do you flick it?”

She leaned up and whispered back. “I don’t know. How often do you flick it?”

 He grinned. “Now Swan, you are only asking me how often I flick mine so you can picture me flicking mine, while you are flicking yours.”

She shook her head feeling a little flustered. “No, I would never picture you while I do that. Which is not something I would do; I would never do that ever.”

“Yes you would.”

“Nuh uh, never.”

“Yes, you would.”

She sighed.“No, I find it impersonal.”

“Swan, what could be more personal than flicking your bean.”

“God, Look I just don’t see myself that way.”

He moved her towards a quieter location.“Well I do. Come here.”

“What?”

He looked into her glittering green eyes. “If you don’t see yourself as the sexual goddess you are why would Graham ever want to? You need to start thinking of yourself that way.”

She blinked from the intensity of his gaze. This was definitely something she would have to think about. Maybe he was right again. She nodded.

He grinned. “Good, now get back to work and stop thinking about me.”

She rolled her eyes and nodded. She watched him walk away with a swagger in his step. She was starting to think he really liked messing with her. She head back to her office to work for the rest of the day, she was not thinking of Killian Jones.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She actually got home at a decent hour so she could relax before her date with Graham that night.  She had on her loose fitting pants, a white sweater and pair of fuzzy slippers.  Killian was right. She did need to start thinking of herself in a more sensual way. If she was going to look the part she had to act the part too. Part of being confident is loving who you are, so maybe a little self exploration was required. 

Her doorbell rang shaking her out of her thoughts. She picked up Baelfire because she didn’t need another tree incident right now or another litter of kittens. Damn cat was always trying to get out. She pulled open the door and found a black gift bag with purple tissue paper poking out of the top sitting on her welcome mat. She grabbed the bag from the mat but whoever left it was no longer in sight.

She sat on the couch placing Baelfire down next to her and pulled the card from the top.

“What is this?”

_“MEOW”_

The card had a picture of a monkey on the front. Inside there was a message.

_This present is not for you! It’s for your bean! XO Killian_

She smiled, opened the bag and found a box labeled Astrea 1. There were a pair of black lacy panties that held a vibrator in the crotch. They came with a separate remote control to control the vibration settings. She was intrigued but she needed to get ready for her date and didn’t have time to explore herself right now so she put it back into the bag.

She showered, got dressed and pulled her hair up into a loose chignon with curly tendrils hanging down on the sides. She decided on a form fitting white dress that was belted at the waste and low cut in the front showing off her cleavage as Killian suggested. She put on her earrings and noticed the blinking light indicating a missed message.

_Running Late -  Graham_

“Damn” she sighed.

She poured herself a glass of white wine and sat down to wait. She got a crazy thought and decided to put on the vibrating underwear. Maybe a little self exploration was in the cards.  What could it hurt? She swapped her regular cotton panties for the vibrating panties. They felt like regular panties so far there wasn’t anything out of the ordinary about them. She picked up the remote control and then the doorbell rang.

“He said he was running late. What is he doing here already?”  

She picked up her discarded underwear and the box from the vibrating panties, tucking them under a cushion on the couch. She grabbed her purse and shoved the mini remote in there to hide it. She put a smile on her face and opened the door. It was Killian and Robin both dressed in suit and tie.

Killian had on a dark blue suit and a light blue button up shirt with a paisley waistcoat buttoned up over top.  He looked really dashing. Robin was wearing a brown suit with a white shirt and had his tie barely tied. She guessed he was on Dad duty earlier.

“Good you’re ready. Let’s go.” said Killian clapping his hands.

Gods she looked beautiful. He wasn’t sure how he was going to get through the evening knowing that he gave her those vibrating panties now. He wondered if she liked them or tossed them in the trash straight away.

She raised an eyebrow in a confused look.“Ready for what?”

“Ready for dinner with Corporate. Didn’t you get my email?” said Robin.

“No, and I can’t I have a date with Graham.”

“You can’t go because you have a date? What?”asked Robin.

Killian gave her a sideways glance.“You have no idea how hard it is for her to get one.”

Emma rolled her eyes.

“Then let’s pick him up on the way.” said Robin.

Emma nodded. “Ok, just give me one second.”

“Swan you look perfect. Come on Let’s go. We’re going to be late.”

She looked over at the cushion hiding her regular underwear but was tugged by the arm to come now.  She sighed and pulled the door shut behind them following them out to the car. She hoped Graham would understand. She did feel it might be a little early to be dragging him to a dinner with her co-workers but he was the perfect man so she was sure he would be fine with it.

She sat in the backseat behind Robin and couldn’t help but notice that Killian kept taking glances at her. She kept quiet knowing that he sent her the special underwear that she actually dared to put on. She kept smiling all the way to get to Graham even though she felt a bit of tension on the way.

Graham looked really nice. He was wearing a grey suit with a white shirt underneath. His hair was coiffed perfectly as usual. He slid in the seat next to her grabbing her hand and smiling. Robin took off knowing they were going to be late pushing them all back against the seats as he hit the gas.

“Running late you know.” said Robin shrugging.

“Sorry to hijack your date, Mate.” said Killian.

“No bother. You’re a producer too?”asked Graham.

“No, I’m the talent.” said Killian smiling.

“So, ah so you’re an anchor then.” said Graham.

“No, I do The Ugly Truth.” said Killian.

“Hasn’t he ever seen our show?”asked Robin.

“Come on Robin, our show is way too low brow for Graham. He’s a doctor.” said Killian.

Emma glared at him from the backseat. “Yes he is.” said Emma smiling.

“He doesn’t want to hear about things like implants and oral sex.” said Killian laughing.

Robin laughed too.

“You talk about oral sex?”asked Graham reaching up from the back seat.

“Oh Look there’s the restaurant. We’re here.” said Emma glaring at Killian again.

He just smiled at her smugly. When would she learn that he knew how men thought and Graham was no different from the average man. He’d prove it to her yet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The restaurant  was busy that evening. They walked over to the bar area to wait for their corporate guests. Emma’s eyes went wide when she saw the _jello twins_ walking towards them.

She gripped Killian’s arm and pulled him to the side.“You invited the Jello twins?”

 “Aye, I thought it was good thinking. We do have _men_ from corporate coming.”

“Yeah, well it certainly couldn’t hurt.” said Robin clapping him on the shoulder.

“Hey ladies, you are looking quite fetching.”  He wrapped his arms around the twin’s shoulders and walked them in to greet their corporate guests.

“Hi Bob and Dave, you both know Emma.” said Robin.

They shook her hand and she introduced Graham.

“Killian Jones at your service.”

“Who are these lovely ladies?”asked Dave giving the jello twins a look up and down.

“I don’t think we will be talking about the news tonight.” said Bob eyeing the girls as well.

Emma laughed and held onto Graham’s arm looking up and giving him a slight smile.

They were seated at a table and the wine started flowing. The waiter was pouring a glass of white for everyone at the table. The night was going well. Killian was seated next to her on one side and Graham on the other. Her purse along with the remote for the panties was set down by her feet.

 Graham was speaking freely to the table about his work and he was smiling a lot. She kept glancing at him to make sure he was ok. He just smiled back politely and let her do what she needed to do. It was kind of him to accept going with her on this _work_ thing which she found very endearing. She always dreamed of having a husband who could be so supportive of her career. 

The corporate guys, Bob and Dave were preoccupied by the jello twins as one girl sat next to each. They were both wearing the same dress, a skimpy white halter dress with little red flowers all over it. The dress was extremely short and if she guessed she thought even Killian would think it was too short, being vag length was inappropriate even for his standards. She looked over and caught him staring at her and smiled.  He looked away towards Bob quickly as if he was caught doing something he shouldn’t.

“So, are you guys here to talk about my raise then?”asked Killian.

Emma kicked his shin under the table and her purse tipped over spilling the contents onto the floor.

“We are excited about the ratings increase. OOOH! ” exclaimed Emma.

She felt a vibrating sensation start down below. Oh my god, the panties. She feared she’d kicked the remote turning them on. The sensations were overwhelming her in a very good way.

“Are you alright?”asked Graham.

She nodded and took a sip of her wine before she poked her head under the table looking for the remote control to turn them off but it was missing from her purse. She was frantically looking, trying to remain calm but the damn vibration just felt so good.  It kept turning her on further.  

“Swan, What are you doing? ” asked Killian poking his head under the table.

“Looking for the remote.” she said squeezing his hand as another wave of vibration hit her core.

He chuckled. “Wait, you’re wearing the panties?”

She nodded.”Remote’s missing.”

The sensation got stronger eliciting a stronger pang in her core making her warmer. She closed her eyes tight and rose up from under the table. She squeezed her legs together tightly to try to alleviate the vibrating but the sensations felt too good.

“Wow.” she said with a shaky high pitched voice.

Killian raised his head above the table trying hard not to laugh as he looked around in the vicinity of their table for the remote control.

“Are you alright?”asked Graham.

“This ceviche is so good. Possibly the best I’ve ever tasted.”

The vibrations were getting stronger and stronger. They felt so good but she certainly had no interest in having a table comprised of corporate big wigs and her co workers watching her get off. “I’m going to ask the chef for the recipe. Would you excuse me?”she said standing up pointing her thumb in the direction of the kitchen.

“Wait Emma, hold on tell Bob about the new teaser campaign that we are going to run starting next week. You’re going to love this.” said Robin.

“Sure Sure Sure. They are 15 seconds every hour on the hour. Sooo good.” said Emma with a shaky voice.

Killian noticed the child at the table behind them holding the remote and playing with the buttons. He smiled and took a drink of his wine looking up at Emma.

“They are soo soo fantastic. Yes, Yes, You should tell them Killian.” said Emma breathlessly. She reached out and grabbed his hand and gritting her teeth.

“Actually I was really quite enjoying the way you were telling them. It was great.” said Killian smiling.

She glared at him. “They aren’t like anything you have ever felt. I mean seen. They are so cutting edge. They are soo so great. Oh God. Oh God. You’re going to love them.” said Emma slamming her hand on the table.

“Wow you gotta love her enthusiasm.” said Graham.

“I’m going to be right back.” said Emma excusing herself wiping her sweaty brow on the back of her hand.

“What’s in ceviche?”asked one of the jello twins.

She felt so good in that moment but it was extremely embarrassing to have just had an orgasm in front of the table. Luckily it was only Killian that knew but that in itself was also not something she was proud of.

Killian walked over to the boy and took the remote back from him after she left. He placed it in his pocket and pat it with a smile.  Emma spied him doing that as she walked back and raised her eyebrow.

“Did you know he had it the whole time.” she whispered.

“No, not the whole time just part of the time and I figured I should let you finish.”

“How kind.” she said sarcastically grabbing the remote from his pocket and tossing it into her purse.

“ Swan, Thanks for coming tonight.  To dinner, that kind of coming.” said Killian.

“mm hmm.” said Emma rolling her eyes.

“Glad you liked the panties.” said Killian grinning.

“They are safely tucked in my purse right now where they can do no more damage.”

“No panties? Are you saying you’re commando right now Swan?”

Emma nodded smiling at him.

He took a swig of his beer as he felt his own arousal increasing. He started to think about anything other than the fact that Emma was currently bare under her dress at that moment. He took another sip of his beer. “Graham likes you, by the way. I can tell.”

“You think so?”

“Aye. If he can put up with this lot and stick around you might have a real chance.” he said giving her a slight smile. He secretly hoped that wasn’t the case not that she would ever go for a guy like him. He likely didn’t even rate on her checklist.

“You ready to go?”asked Graham walking up and grabbing her hand.

“I know Emma is.” said Killian smirking.

“Yeah, come on let’s go.”

Killian watched them leave. He felt a little sad that his plan was working after seeing her so free tonight.

“Tonight went well.” said Robin clapping his hand on Killian’s shoulder.

“Yeah, let’s get a drink.”

They walked back to the bar to meet up with Bob, Dave and the Jello twins. He needed to get Emma Swan out of his mind.

 


	7. Things are Heating Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello lovely readers! I hope you are enjoying this little AU. Things are progressing with Emma and Graham. Killian is now starting to think maybe his tactics worked a little too well and perhaps he should have held back on the advice. Emma is starting to see the real him shining through his bravado. They do seem to make quite the team. I hope you enjoy this next chapter. Leave me notes, comments or questions, I love to hear from you. Thank you for reading my story.

Chapter 7: The Ugly Truth

She sat back in the control booth waiting for the show to begin. Killian’s segment today was about the multiple layers of women. She couldn’t help but think maybe she inspired him with their discussion the night before. She could be fun and loosen up too. It wasn’t always all business with her.

He really was surprising her too. At first he seemed off putting and brash but after listening to him for awhile she started to see insight coming through and maybe even brilliance. He had been right so far and the rules seemed to be working since she hadn’t managed to chase Graham away.

 He seemed surprised when she told him she would be going away with Graham for the weekend. When she got home that night she started having second thoughts. Maybe she was rushing a little too soon if even Killian was surprised but on the other hand Ruby was cheering her on to go. She had a great time with Graham, and he did meet all of the criteria on her checklist.

She’d been doing a great job keeping a cap on her self control but she didn’t think she could keep him waiting for much longer. They’d had a few steamy sessions that she managed to wriggle out of or he was called away to the hospital before anything could happen. Ever since the panties incident she seemed to have sex on her mind.

She looked down on set and saw Killian, Mary-Margaret and David arriving. They seemed to have great chemistry on stage too. Mary Margaret and David hadn’t looked that alive in a long time. Mary Margaret had a glow about her and David’s eyes were definitely shining brighter as he looked at her. She supposed she had Killian to thank for that too. 

Once she saw they were in position she gave the director the signal to proceed with the show.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killian took his seat on set next to Mary-Margaret on set. He thought about the previous night out with Emma. They were a great team and came up so many good ideas together. At first he thought she would be his biggest obstacle and had been pleasantly surprised to see she was quite the opposite. He enjoyed bouncing ideas off of her and her openness to his suggestions lately was greatly appreciated. He liked that she thought he was creative and that his ideas, while they may not have been her first choice, have been helpful to the show.  

She was nowhere near the type of woman that he normally dated but for some reason he couldn’t get her out of his head. When he closed his eyes he could see the beautiful glow of her green eyes, the delicate curve of her chin, her bright smile and the supple curves of her body. He licked his lips and swallowed hard.

It wasn’t only her looks that he thought about; she was beautiful inside and out. She was smart, pigheaded and controlling, but also very kind. He needed to get her out of his head though, she was with someone else and she seemed happy. The worst part of this was that he helped her be with that someone else and he was going to have to live with that. She would probably never give him a second glance and that made his chest hurt.  He thought about calling Cindy, the hostess from last night. Maybe she could get his mind off of Emma Swan.

He shook away his thoughts. He had to remember he was Killian Jones, he gave the advice, he didn’t let relationships get in the way and he liked it that way. He looked up to the control booth and saw her smiling back at him and then he was lost again. He nodded and she gave them the thumbs up to begin. He turned on his ear piece so he could hear her.

“Keep it clean and stick to the script.”

“I love it when you talk dirty to me.”

“Haha in your dreams.”

He smiled and nodded. Little did she know she was right because she’d been starring in his dreams lately.

“3. 2. 1. … you’re on the air. “

“Good morning Storybrooke. I’m David Nolan.”

“I’m Mary-Margaret Nolan.”

 “I’m Killian Jones and this is the Ugly Truth.”

He stood and walked in front of the desk. “Just a simple piece of advice today for the gentleman out there.  There are many types of women, never assume a girl is easy or assume she’s a prude. There are many layers in between. It’s your job, gentlemen, to peel back those layers and figure out exactly what type of woman you’re dealing with. Because once you do, peel back those layers my friends, her lady garden awaits. I’m pretty sure you’re going to want to fertilize that patch of petunias.”

He grinned and signaled David that he was ready to turn it back to him. “Well Thanks Killian and with that, we’ll be right back and Happy will tell us if your petunias are going to see any rainfall this weekend.”

“Yeah, I sure hope mine do.” Said Mary Margaret.

Emma was in the control booth shaking her head trying to figure out when her little morning show got so dirty. Apparently her town really liked it because their ratings were through the roof.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She and Ruby were meeting back stage after the segment going over scripts for the next few shows. She couldn’t help but notice Killian out of the corner of her eye as he spoke to the camera man and the set folks.  He kept proving her wrong at every turn making her question things that she used to think were gospel.

 She read a number of relationship books and he was right about them. None of them gave her the advice he did and none of them helped her find a healthy relationship. Why did he have to be so right? How could she have been so wrong? He looked over towards her his eyes gleaming and grin spread across his face. Why did his eyes have to sparkle at her that way?

“Stupid smug face.”

“What?”asked Ruby.

“Oh nothing I was just talking out loud.” She went back to her clipboard and looked over the numbers, pretending that she wasn’t watching him even though it was starting to become harder not to notice him when they were in the room together.

“I can’t believe how good our ratings are.”

“I know but don’t let Captain Innuendo hear you say that.”

Ruby smiled. “You have to admit though, he’s growing on you.”

She gave him a legitimate look. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

“If you’re taking his advice, I’d say he is.”

She gave her friend a slight smile and shrugged her shoulders. “Don’t tell him this but he has been right about a lot of things. It just seems wrong though somehow. I mean, I’m doing things that I wouldn’t normally do.”

“Girl, just focus on the tight curves of Graham’s abs and the rock hard arms that are going to be around you later.”

“Yeah, there is that. I hope his arm’s aren’t going to be the only thing that’s rock hard.”

Ruby swat her on the arm with her papers. “Emma!”

“What’s it’s been awhile.”

“Maybe you have been spending a little too much time with Jones over there.”

She looked over and waved to him. He smiled and waved back.  She noticed at that moment a stranger walking up to him.

“Do you know that guy talking to Killian?”

“No.”

She felt a small pit in her stomach. Something was up and she didn’t like it one bit. “Be right back.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He couldn’t help but follow her with his eyes.  She was like a siren calling to him with her beautiful laugh. She was working with Ruby on set today and he wished she would return to her office so he didn’t have her present in his thoughts.  He just needed a little distance from her and he would be fine.

He’d leave himself if he didn’t have to work with the director and crew to setup their next segments. They were planning a segment on the advantages of massage and the different types that were offered. That would certainly be one way to get his mind off of Emma. He’d have some sweet thing rubbing her hands all over him with different kinds of oil. After all she would be going away with Graham which means she will have sealed the deal there.

He’d have to suck it up; he was a man after all. He was brought back to reality by a tap on his shoulder by his agent, Jefferson. 

 “Jefferson, what are you doing here?”

“I’ve got great news. You’re not going to believe this. I got you booked on the Late Late show with Sydney Glass. He loves your segment and he wants you to be his guest.”

“He wants me on his show! You’re kidding Mate!”

He clapped his hands together and hugged the man.

“We made it!”

The two men were hugging each other and jumping up and down when she approached them. He stopped and pumped his fist in the air. “YES!”

She stood in front of them with her arms cross and a look of agitation. “Hi, Who are you?”

He put his arm around the man and smiled. “This is Jefferson, he’s my agent.”

“Since when do you have an agent?”

“Relax Swan.”

“Don’t tell me to relax and since when is ok to book late night without the producer’s approval?”

 “uh well its actually The Late Late show and since he became the hottest personality on morning TV is when. Have you seen this guy’s ratings? He’s in demand.” Said Jefferson grinning.

She looked at him and smirked.“Yes, Yes I have. ”

He gave her a smug look.“You have to keep the talent happy Swan.”

She rolled her eyes.

Jefferson clapped Killian on the chest. “Ok, anyway it’s tonight. It’s all set. I got a room booked for you at the hotel near the studio.”

 He could tell she was seething but he still wanted her approval. “Swan, How cool is this?”

She nodded and gave him a curt smile. He walked off the set with Jefferson leaving her standing there trying to figure out how to handle this situation. She was angry and nervous about what that could mean for him, their show, and maybe something else that she didn’t want to admit.

“Emma, Robin called and he wants to see you in his office.” called Ruby.

She shook her head and huffed out a breath. “Ok, Thanks.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She reluctantly walked into her boss’s office. “Ruby told me that you wanted to see me.”

Robin looked worried and he was shuffling pages around his desk like he did when they got bad news. “I just found out that Killian’s been given an offer from another network affiliate in the city at twice the pay. We can’t lose him Emma.”

She felt like the wind was just knocked out of her. “What?”

“The Late Late Show is his audition.”

She felt her stomach doing flip flops. “You’re kidding me.”

 “Oh, I’m serious. If Bob and Dave find out about this we’re dead.”

Emma shook her head and took a deep breath running her fingers through her hair.

“I need you to go with him and talk him out of it.”

She shook her head. She was about to go away with Graham for their first weekend. “I have plans to go away this weekend.”

He pleaded with her. “Emma, you have to do this. You have to find a way to keep him. Look I’m sorry but you need to do this.”

She huffed out a breath and nodded.

 “Just don’t let him know you know beforehand. Let him go ahead and do the show. Let him get us our publicity and then convince him that he needs to sign on with us for the next three years. It’s all we can do.”

Emma shook her head biting her lip. Her job came first and this needed to happen. She thought she wanted him gone but his ratings proved otherwise. Now she realized they needed him and she had to fight to get him to stay.

She would have to tell Graham that their weekend was off.  She needed to keep Killian. He was important to the show but more than that, somehow through all of this he became important to her too. Damn him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He was so excited; he’d wanted to be on late night since he was a kid. This was a complete dream come true for him, not to mention that the exposure would be really good for his career which in turn would be good for his bank account. He was doing ok and didn’t mind staying in the apartment next to Ariel but he wanted a place of his own.

He would still stay in the neighborhood so he was close to Henry but he needed a little more privacy. When he first moved in he had a few close calls where Henry almost caught him in a compromising position. He expected his sudden celebrity status would only increase the traffic coming through his place.  

He got dressed and ready for his big night. He set out to meet Jefferson in the lobby of the hotel so he could drive him to the station. When he entered the waiting room his mouth hung open at the sight before him.  He never expected to see Emma walk into the lobby.

She was dressed in a short overcoat and high heels that made her legs go on forever. She had her arms loaded with papers and a bag on each of her shoulders. She looked confused as she walked in so he approached to help her.  

“Swan.”

“Hi.” she said curtly.

She appeared to be pissed off at him and he had an idea why. The thought made him happier than it should have. “What are you doing here I thought you were supposed to be away with Graham?  You couldn’t spend a day without me could you, Love?”

She looked at him with a mock expression. “Oh yes, I can’t get enough of your sparkling wit and charm.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “Just why are you here then?”

She handed him one of her bags. “Robin thought you needed a producer more than I needed to get laid.”

His eyes went wide and he smiled at the brazen comment. “OK.”

 She pushed forward and beckoned him to follow her. “Come on, I need to check in. We leave in five minutes.”

“Wow.”  He stood there confused.

“Five minutes- Tick tock tick tock get a move on Jones.”

“Yes dear.”  He snapped back to reality and picked up his pace.

He couldn’t remember when he signed on to be a lap dog but he was happy she was here. He wouldn’t tell her how happy he was but he felt relieved to have her with him for his big night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They decided to hail a taxi and just go to the station themselves. They were running late and Jefferson was just going to meet them there instead. When they got into the taxi she pulled out her segment notes from her bag. She was feeling frustrated and she was still upset that she had to miss out on her weekend getaway. Killian giving her that stupid smug grin and his too blue eyes watching her quietly .

She took a breath to calm down.“Let’s go over the pre-interview questions. I want to make sure you are prepared.”

“Swan, I’m sorry you didn’t get to spend time with _little Graham_ this weekend. By little I don’t mean undersized although I highly suspect that’s the case.”

“Graham’s penis? That’s what you want to talk about right now because I thought maybe you would want to talk about what you are going to say when you are on the show. Mmm  _ Yeah, ok.”

“Ok.”

She smiled and put on her best deep voice mocking the late night host. “So tell me Killian how did the Ugly Truth get started?”

“Well Mr. Talk Show host I had a job that forced me to listen to a lot of talk radio every day.  I started calling in and then I realized I’m smarter than everyone else. Just ask my producer Emma. She thinks I’m a genius on days when she’s not sexually frustrated.”

“Ah yes, thousands of lives have been enriched by your wisdom.”

“Excuse me lass but I believe you have a boyfriend because of Me.”

“Hey, It may have started because of you but it’s lasted because of me.”

“Great, so you’re acting like your normal control freak psycho self again.”

“I am not a control freak.”

“When you checked into the hotel I recall you asking for an eastern facing room on a floor not below seven.”

“I-I – I like rising with the sun and having a view.”

He laughed. “My point is that Graham likes the Killian version of Emma and not the Emma version of Emma. So don’t go mocking my words of wisdom when you are living proof that they work.”

She shook her head and let out a breath. “I could be having sex right now.  It’s been 11 Months!”

She didn’t want to believe that he spoke a kernel of truth in his words. She wanted to believe that Graham liked her for who she was although now she was starting to question just that. Was she herself or Killian’s version of herself as he suggested. She looked over and he was staring intently out the window. They rode the rest of the way in silence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When they got there Jefferson was waiting impatiently. He escorted them quickly through the back hallway and found the PA. They all walked together towards the back stage area. He was trying to calm his nerves and somehow having Emma there seemed to help. He did need her there, Robin was right to send her for more reasons than he’d admit. 

He looked out onto the stage and heard the audience arriving. He had butterflies in his stomach because this was the most exciting thing to happen to him in a long while. It was such a validation of him to be asked to do this. He couldn’t help but be proud of this accomplishment.

 Jefferson clapped him on the back. “Dude, this is awesome. You’re about to go on national television.”

He was fumbling with the button on his jacket trying to keep his nerves at bay.“You’re not helping right now Mate.”

“Just do what you always do.”

“What do I always do?”

“ah what you always do.”

He looked to Emma and she was smiling at him. He felt himself relaxing just with her look.  When they reached the edge of the stage he took a few cleansing breaths.  It was as if she could sense he needed her help.

She grabbed his arms and pulled him in front of her. Her green eyes sparkling as she looked directly into his.  “Killian, you entertain millions of people with your moronic ideas and they love you for it. Just remember that and you will be great.”

“Swan, I think that might be the nicest thing you ever said to me.”

She smiled and dusted off his shoulders.“You’re welcome.”

He turned to walk away and she swatted him on the arse. He jumped and looked back at her with a raised eyebrow.

She was standing there with her arms crossed over her chest grinning.“Break a leg!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Emma stood back on the side of the stage watching as he strutted out onto the stage. He was all swagger now that she’d given him a little pep talk. She watched the monitor intently.

“I’d like to welcome Killian Jones to talk about The Ugly Truth. It can be seen each morning on Good Morning Storybrooke.” said Sydney.

He waved to the audience and smiled. “Hello.”

“So Killian you’re here to enlighten us men who are not really known for our expertise in matters of the heart. I hear you have some interesting ideas and theories.  What advice would you give to the good people who are out there looking for love?”asked Sydney.

He grinned. “My advice would be, don’t do it. Don’t look for love, try to find lust instead.  It’s a lot easier and a lot less messy. Blue Balls only last a few hours but a broken heart can last years.”

The audience laughed loudly. She shook her head  and walked backstage to watch from the monitors. He looked so handsome. His blue eyes were glittering under the lights on the stage. He was wearing a dark navy blue suit, a white button down shirt with the top buttons undone and navy and grey patterned waistcoat over top.  He was mesmerizing to watch and how hadn’t she realized how soothing his voice was before now she didn’t know.

“So tell me, who is she?”asked Sydney.

“Who?”

“The woman who screwed you up? She must have been a doozy.” asked Sydney.

Emma watched the monitor intently gazing over to see him on stage. She was intrigued. She hadn’t thought about that before. Maybe he was like this because he got his heart ripped out and this was how he coped with the pain. That would make sense. He seemed to hold himself at arm’s length. He never mentioned anyone steady in his life. In fact he never mentioned any women in his past.

He laughed. “Ahhh  uuuh well like I said better a floozy than a doozy.”

The audience was laughing heartily but she could see there was a flash of pain behind his eyes. Of course he would deflect the question she wanted an answer to. She would have to remember to revisit that question later. The crowd erupted when his segment was over. She watched as he took in the praise and thanked the host for having him.

She moved back towards the stage to greet him when he came off. He was grinning from ear to ear and he had his swagger back in his step.  “Swan, that felt great!”

She gazed into his happy eyes. “You were great.”

Their gaze was cut off by Jefferson’s sudden appearance. “Come on buddy. We have some things to discuss.”

He turned and smiled. “Meet you at the hotel restaurant in an hour.”

“Ok, see you there.”

She watched Jefferson and Killian walk off. She had a pit in her stomach. She was supposed to talk to him after the segment about signing the contract with them. He was great out there. She couldn’t bring herself to confront him while he was on such a high. She knew Robin would be pissed at her but he had a right to be successful and who was she to stand in his way. She wanted him to get what he deserved. She was wrong about him. She’d been wrong about him the whole time and she’d been too stubborn to admit it to him. Now it would be too late. She was sure he would take the offer.

It dawned on her that she may not be entirely thinking about it in terms of working with him but maybe in him as a person.  He was exciting and he kept her on her toes. He pumped her up and pushed her limits. There was also the way she caught him looking at her all the time. Those blue eyes gazing at her like she was the sun.

She’d been blind while she’d been pretending to be the Killian version of Emma with Graham. Maybe Killian had a point. She needed to be herself. His methods worked but at what cost. She shook the thoughts from her mind as she walked slowly out to get a taxi back to the hotel.  She had work to do and she needed to report something to Robin even if it was bad news.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She walked into the hotel restaurant and it was full of bright light, color and loud music. It was Mexican themed so all the drinks had either Rum or Tequila in them. The restaurant had a huge dance floor in the center. There were a lot of people dancing wildly to the Latin rhythms that the live band was playing.

She sat alone at a table and ordered a mojito. They were her favorite, that delicious mix of mint, lime and coconut rum. She had to watch herself with those though because they taste so good that she could accidentally get drunk if she wasn’t careful.  

Her bag had been packed for a weekend trip with Graham so she made use of the clothing she brought with her.  She decided on a body hugging low cut sleeveless cream dress and nude shimmery strappy sandals.  She also loosened her bun and let the wavy curls hang down to her shoulders. She was starting to feel loose after all the heavy thoughts she had at the station earlier. 

It felt good to let her hair down and she was beginning to question why she always let herself get so wound up about everything. Maybe Killian was right and she needed to just relax more. She’d still get the work done it would just be easier without all the pressure she placed on herself.  

She felt her phone buzzing in her bag.

_“Hello Emma Swan.”_

_“Have you got him to sign yet?”asked Robin._

_“No, not yet but I will. I gotta go he’s coming.”_

He also changed before coming to meet her. He looked great in a nice pair of black pants and a dark grey shirt with an embossed black waistcoat over it. She felt her jaw drop so she carefully closed it hoping he didn’t notice.

She took a sip of her drink to compose herself. “Hi. Where’s Jefferson?”

He sat down and smiled. “Oh, I told him to go home. I thought maybe we could celebrate just you and I.”

She sipped her drink suddenly feeling nervous. “Oh ok.”

 “Swan, Can I have a sip of that?”

Before she could respond he’d already had her drink in hand and was taking a sip.

She smiled and shook her head.  “What exactly are we celebrating?”

His face relaxed into that lazy grin she liked so much. “Uh, Hello the Late Late Show.  I was just on it.  You saw me. I was great. ”

He went to sip from her drink again when she grabbed his hand. “I heard about the offer from the other affiliate.”

He looked into her eyes. “Well then, maybe you also heard I turned it down.”

She felt like the weight of the world just lifted from her chest. “You did?”

“Aye Love.”

“Why?”

She couldn’t help but lock eyes with him now. She didn’t know if it was the drinks but she felt her façade slipping and she could feel the electricity brewing between them.

“Henry. He needs me around. I might not be the best father figure out there but I’m the only one he’s got. I don’t want to half arse it all the way from the big city.”

Her green eyes were sparkling up at him. Her hair was hanging in golden curls framing her beautiful face. She looked hopeful at his remark. He felt the air leave his chest. She never looked at him like that before. 

 She took her drink back from him and played with the straw to distract herself from looking at him.“Well, I think that is a very good decision.”

He was grinning at her from ear to ear. “Now that’s out of the way; can we stop talking about work and maybe relax, drink and enjoy?”

She smiled and nodded. Something came back to her from earlier. She took a sip of her drink to get the courage to ask. “Tell me about the doozy?”

Killian rolled his eyes and blew out a breath. “What?”

“You know the woman who broke your heart. Who was she?”

He scratched behind his ear and averted her gaze. “You are just totally trying to kill my buzz aren’t you.”

She smiled brightly. “No, I’m not, I’m just interested in what makes you, _you_.”

He was stunned to silence. That was a first for him. “Uuh, Well for your information it was more than just one. It was more like a parade. Co-dependent girls, unfaithful girls, narcissistic girls, depressed girls, phony girls, girls who it turned out didn’t actually like me. By the time I hit thirty I realized that, you could only have so many lousy relationships before you figure out there is no such thing as a good one.”

“You can’t really believe there is no such thing as a good relationship?”

He picked up her drink and took another sip. “To my very core.”

The waitress finally came by their table breaking the tension that was brewing after that last statement.

“Excuse me can I get you something to drink?”asked the waitress.

“I’ll have one of those please.”

“A Mojito.”

“Can I get you anything else.” asked the waitress.

“Yeah, I’ll have another as well and some water.”

“Can I get you still or sparkling?”asked the young girl.

Killian looked up. “Tap waters good.”

Emma glared at him with wide eyes as if it was the first time she ever saw him. She felt like the bottom just dropped out of the floor.  Her eyes locked with his and she smiled.

He smiled and shrugged his shoulders. “What? What it’s the exact same thing isn’t it?”

She picked up her drink and smiled. “So I’ve been told.”

“Swan, Come with me. Let’s dance.”

She twisted a piece of hair on her finger.“Very funny. What’s your next joke.”

“I’m serious.”

She her head for fear of locking eyes with him again. She was starting to feel loose from her drink.“No.”

He stood and held out his hand to her. “Come on, I’ve seen your spazzy dance. Now I want to see the real thing. Relax for one night. Trust me.”

“No. Really I don’t know how to dance like that.”

He smiled and took her hand lifting her from her seat. “Swan, there’s only one rule you need to know to dance like that, pick a partner who knows what he’s doing.”

She pointed to the dancers flashing around the dance floor.“You’re saying you know how to do this?”

He pulled her slowly onto the dance floor and smiled. “Aye.  Come on.”

 The Latin Rhythms were playing loud and fast. The energy on the dance floor was electric. There were colors and lights flashing all over. The beats were strong and dizzying. She was starting to feel a knot in her stomach and began to pull away to go back to her seat. “Killian I can’t.”

He grabbed her by the hand, flung her out into the dance floor and quickly pulled her back into his arms holding her body flush up against his. Green eyes locked with blue and she was lost in him as she felt his hot breath on her cheek. She could feel every curve of his body against hers as they moved together.

She became intoxicated by his heavenly scent.  He held her close, moving rhythmically to the beat of the music pressing her body closer and the electricity heated between them. She moved her hips against his in time with the music as they moved around the floor following the crowd.

 He spun and twirled her twisting his hips and moving her body along with his. She couldn’t stop smiling at the amazing feel of his body against her. She couldn’t remember why she was so hesitant to try it as his expert moves kept her upright and flowing with the crowd.

He pushed her out and pulled her back quickly so they were standing nose to nose. He started rolling his hips against hers creating a delicious friction between them. His eyes locked with hers again as they continued moving.  

She felt so free. She couldn’t remove the smile from her face. She couldn’t remember the last time she had this much fun.

He dipped her back letting her hair dangle down to the floor pulling her back up slowly against him allowing her to slip into his arms. He pushed both of her arms up in one fluid motion and then caressed his hands down her body touching every inch of her curves slowly on the way down to her hips.

He pulled her in so their cores aligned, their noses were touching and sharing they were sharing the same breath. She could feel the fires burning in her stomach. She looked to his lips and she could see the lust in his beautiful eyes.  She blinked when she realized what was about to happen and pulled away slowly leaving his embrace.

“Uh, we should go. We have to leave early tomorrow.”

He scratched nervously behind his ear. “Yeah, you’re right we should probably go.”

He extended his arm out to her inviting her to leave with him off of the dance floor. She smiled at the gesture and took it. They walked silently out to the elevator to wait. She still didn’t break contact with him. She was afraid she might fall if she did.

She felt like she just went through a tornado. Her body was on fire. She felt more in those moments on the dance floor than she’d felt for anyone as long as she could remember. It was like magical electricity was sparking between them.  She was afraid to look at him. If he looked at her once more she would give in and never look back.

The Elevator doors cracked open, she broke contact with him and stood towards the rear of the elevator. She realized she missed the heat of his body immediately. He walked in, stood next to her, pressed the buttons for their floors and stood silent facing forward.

She needed to be brave. “Killian.”

He turned to face her. “Aye.”

“So the car is going to pick us up tomorrow downstairs at 8 do you want me to call you?”

“No, I’ve got a wake up call.”

“I had a really good time tonight. Thank you.”

He looked down, trying to avert her gaze. “Me too.”

The elevator door bell chimed when it hit his floor breaking the tension.

He turned to face her. “My floor.”

She looked up into his eyes. She shouldn’t have done it. “Yeah.”

“See you tomorrow Swan.”

“8:00.”

They awkwardly moved together for a hug goodbye. She patted him on the shoulders hoping for more but he held his distance. The elevator doors tried to close and Killian caught it pushing it open again.

 She gazed at him wistfully. “Goodnight.”

He wanted her so much. She looked so beautiful, like a goddess. “Goodnight.”

She pulled him in for a hug again. This time it was closer contact and she held him longer. She didn’t want to let go. He pulled back slowly and they gazed into each other’s eyes. An electric current was running between them. He looked at her pink soft lips and she smiled. She leaned forward and he covered his lips over hers. They fit together perfectly. He ran his tongue along her bottom lip teasing her to open her mouth deepening the kiss.  Their tongues tangled together.

His kiss was sweet like coconut full of passion and fire. She felt like she was floating on air. She could feel her core heating up as his hands roamed over her soft curves. She tangled her fingers into his silky hair holding his mouth to hers as if she needed him to breath.

She could feel he wanted her as much as she wanted him. Their hips moved together and the friction caused a little coil to fire in her belly. The elevator alarm started going off and they pulled back slowly both of them breathless and panting.

He had a look of shock rush across his face as he stood there gazing at her. “Guess I should go.”

She nodded and blinked. She was speechless about what just happened.

He stepped out of the elevator and their gazes locked again. “Goodnight Emma.”

“Goodnight Killian.”


	8. The Ugly Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello Lovely Readers! I hope you are enjoying this story. This is the final chapter but there is also a little epilogue to this one. So it’s not completely the end. I hope you enjoy the conclusion. Thank you for your comments, notes, and questions. I really appreciate your feedback. It completely makes my day to hear from readers.

 

Chapter 8: The Ugly Truth

He put his fingers to his lips and blew out a breath. He could still feel the imprint of her lips on his. He just stood there frozen staring at the doors as if he was willing for them to spring open and she would come back.

He was standing there dumbfounded when the elevators opened again. He got excited when he thought perhaps she came back but it was just an older couple returning to their room.  

He blinked hard and then he started walking towards his room. His feet felt like lead weights attached to them. All he could think about was her body pressed against his. The way they moved together on the dance floor. The way she tasted when he kissed her. The way her nipples perked up to his touch when his hands ran over her body. She didn’t stop him. She didn’t slap him. She didn’t push him away. Her eyes told him she wanted more. She gave as much as he did.

 He WAS an idiot.  He let her go. He just fucking let her go. He’d been dreaming about her for weeks. He had her in his arms, he was bloody kissing her, she was kissing him back and he chickened out .He let her go. She looked at him with a pleading gaze that was begging him to stay, to come with her, to take her as the doors closed. What was wrong with him?

He stopped in his tracks, turned around and ran back to the elevator. He needed her and he wasn’t going to let this chance go. He was in love with her. He was a bloody fool who was in love with her. He pressed the up button on the elevator repeatedly willing it to get there faster. He’d already wasted too much time and he knew what he wanted, who he wanted. He had to go to her and pray she felt the same way.

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She walked slowly off the elevator towards her room. It was as if she was floating on a cloud. She touched her lips and giggled when she thought about what just happened. She squeezed her eyes shut and squealed like a schoolgirl bouncing up and down.

She turned around and looked at the doors smiling. She arrived at her room, pushed the key card in and opened the door.  It was if she was running on auto pilot as her head was swirling with thoughts of Killian Jones. She pulled off her heels and tossed them next to the couch. She plopped down onto the couch and took a deep breath.

She was grinning like an idiot. Her body was tingling all over. “What the hell was that?” She wanted more. She wanted to find Killian, wrap her body around him and kiss him breathless. She was feeling confident, bold and she wanted him. She got up from the couch quickly, picked up her shoes and bound for the door.  She reached for the handle and a loud knock from the other side made her jump back. She perked up instantly at the thought that he felt the same and came for her.

She straightened her dress and shook out her hair. She pulled open the door smiling.

_“Miss me?”_

Her face fell. “Graham?”

 He raised an eyebrow questioning her. “Were you expecting someone else?”

She shook her head and opened her mouth but nothing came out. He pulled her close and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. She pulled back still stunned at the sight of him.

She folded her arms over her chest. “N- No. I’m just surprised to see you. How did you know where to find me?”

 He grinned. “Ruby told me. I just kept thinking about all the stuff we were going to do while we were away and I couldn’t wait any longer to see you. “ He dropped his bag, plopped down on the couch, and took off his shoes.  

She sat down silently next to him looking towards the door and thinking about her destination. She may have had the perfect man sitting next to her but was he the perfect man for her?

He pulled a bottle from his bag.“Care for some Champagne?”

She stood up and walked towards the kitchen. “Yes, let me grab some glasses.”

She could feel herself freaking out. She couldn’t figure out what to do. She thought she wanted Graham but now all she could think about was Killian, his lips on hers and his hands on her body. It was as if she was ruined. Suddenly Graham felt like an alien and she didn’t want him to touch her. She didn’t want him in her room. She was feeling anxious, sick even. She grabbed the glasses and walked back over to him.

 “I’m so happy to be here Emma.”

She gave him a slight smile and handed him the glasses.

“What’s wrong?”

She shrugged her shoulders and mock yawned.“Nothing you just surprised me. It’s been a long day and I’m a little tired.”

He grinned wide. “You told me you were spontaneous.”

“Yeah,  I did”

“I have a little something else on its way up for you. You’re going to love It.”

She turned to face the door once more feeling a pit in her stomach. “Mmm, can’t wait.” She turned back when she heard the cork pop and saw that the champagne was bubbling all over him, soaking his shirt and pooling in his lap.

He stood quickly and smiled. “Whoa.”

She grabbed the bottle and placed it on the table. “Let me help you.”

He looked at her and winked. “It comes out real fast. Oh well I guess we’re going to have to get naked sooner than I thought.”

She looked at him with wide eyes and panic was setting in. “Let me get you a towel.”

She rushed quickly to the bathroom to look for a towel and try to compose herself. “ _Oh My God. Oh My God. Oh My God. What am I going to do?”_ She grabbed the towel and screamed into it.

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He arrived off the elevator and quickly walked towards her door. He paced the hallway in front of her room trying to muster up the courage to tell her how he felt. It’d been a long time since he put his heart on the line and it was more than just a fuck to him. He was in love with her. He had to do this right because she wasn’t just any girl. He wanted her to be his girl.  

He practiced the words he was going to say. “Emma, I really really want to do that again and not just tonight.” He slapped himself in the face to push back the nerves.“ Fuck me. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.“

He stood in front of her door. “Come on, Man up Jones, you can do this.“ He blew out a breath and finally knocked on her door. The door opened and he had a big smile on his face. Bloody Hell was all he could think when he saw a partially dressed Graham standing at her door.

“Hey, you’re not room service. How you doing man?”

The man was standing in front of him shirtless and his pants were wet. He felt like he was just kicked in the balls. He couldn’t breathe. “Hey uh, Hi Mate. I just came by to tell Emma about the change in the time we were leaving tomorrow. It’s 8 am.”

“Ok, I’ll tell her.”

“Thanks Mate.”

Emma came wandering out of the bathroom with a towel in her hand. She looked up to see him at the door. Her eyes went wide in shock. She rushed towards the door, he’d come back. He did feel the same way.

“Killian.”

He turned to walk away when he heard her voice. “Oh, I told Graham here, The time’s changed, 8:00 in the morning. I- uh told you that already though, uh long day, big day, I’ll just leave now.”

He heard the door close behind him. He felt like he left his heart on the floor back there. Of course she would choose the wonder stud over him. That guy had a checklist that couldn’t be matched. He was a fool to think she would choose him over that guy. That guy was dependability, stability, rich, and good looking. If he really truly loved Emma that would be the choice he would want for her.  _Bloody Hell._

“Killian, Killian hey wait.”  

He turned around slowly trying to gain composure before he faced her.

She was smiling and looked nervous.”He came to surprise me, I-I”

“Yeah, how convenient.”

“No, You don’t understand I thought it was you at the door. I thought you’d come for me. ”

“I guess we’re all interchangeable eh Swan? I taught you well, hey maybe you could even host the show.”

She looked at him crestfallen shaking her head. She walked up directly in front of him and looked him directly in the eyes. “Tell me what happened in the elevator. Should I tell Graham to go?”

Her eyes were pleading to him and he wanted to tell her emphatically yes, tell him to go but he knew that he needed to let her be happy. Graham would make her happy. That was what she was after all along. “No, No why pull up anchor now when you worked so hard to get him here. “

“That’s it.  That’s all you have to say.”

He shook his head. “Swan, What do you want me to say?”

“The TRUTH. IS. UGLY.  isn’t it?”

“Aye, That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

She turned to walk away. “I’ll see you tomorrow 8 am.”

He squeezed his eyes tight and took a breath. He had to fight everything in him to stop himself from grabbing her. Gods he wanted her. He wanted to tell her he loved her, kiss her and lose himself in her. He walked back to his room and packed his bag. He was decided he was leaving that night. He couldn’t face her in the morning. He’d blown it.

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Emma felt tears starting to pool in her eyes. She turned to see Killian walking to the elevator. That elevator held the hope and magic that she was only just thinking about minutes ago. She wiped her eyes, composed herself and knocked on the door to her room. She d put a smile on her face. She’d faked it this long. Why stop now.

“Sorry about that.”

“Come here, the rest of the night is ours.”

She took the glass of champagne from him.”Thanks.”

He held his glass up to hers. “To the first of many romantic evenings to come.”

She put the glass to her lips and drank it down without stopping. She picked up the bottle and refilled her glass.

“Whoa ok.”

He sat down on the bed and patted for her to come join him.

She looked over to see this perfect specimen sitting on her bed. Sonofabitch she couldn’t do this, she needed to tell him that she couldn’t go through this anymore. It just didn’t feel right. She started pacing in front of him and stopped short. “Graham, why do you like me?”

He smiled. “Wow, you’re beautiful, smart, and never criticize. You know what; you never try to control the situation. I’ve got to say that is a breath of fresh air. I know so many women who are total control freaks and it’s a nightmare. I love that you’re not like that.”  

Emma downed the second glass. “But I am. I am just like that.”

He looked at her puzzled. “What do you mean?”

She picked up the bottle of champagne and moved to stand to the left of him holding up her glass. “Well this should be chilled but you know that. As horrible as it sounds I was editing your speech the entire time you were giving it.”

He looked at her confused and sat up taking a small sip from his glass.

“The time you fed me caviar I was disgusted. I don’t like being fed like a toddler and I find caviar disgusting.” She stuck out her tongue pretending to gag. “But I couldn’t show you any of that because who would love someone like that? No one.”  She took another sip from her glass and walked towards him.

The man was stunned speechless. His eyebrows were raised and he was looking at her intently.

“Listen Graham, I’m so sorry you are a great guy; you really are which is why I have to tell you that I have not been myself with you.  Not for one second of the time we have been dating.”

“Then who have you been?”

“The girl some idiot told me to be.”

“I guess I should go.”

“Yeah, that is probably a good idea.”

Graham got himself together and gathered his things. She stood by the window watching the lights of the city shimmering. She heard him moving around but she couldn’t bear to look at him. All the hope she had wrapped up in that man. All the ideas and the plans she made with him had all vanished.

“Well, I’m leaving.”

She turned around and walked to him. She gave him a soft hug and kiss on the cheek.“Thank you.” “Goodbye Emma.”

“Bye”

She closed the door and pressed her back to it. She surveyed the room and brushed her hands through her hair. She grabbed the champagne bottle and walked towards the bed slowly dragging her feet. She sat on the edge and thought about what just happened. It was just too much. She took a long swig. Her head was spinning. It was just all too much and all the alcohol she drank was finally kicking in. She finished the bottle and dropped it on the floor. She flopped back on the bed and looked at the ceiling.

Kissing Killian Jones was the last thought she had before she passed out that night.

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She got up the next morning with a fierce hang over. She managed to pull herself together enough to drag herself into the station. The show must go on. When she walked in it appeared that everyone was in a tizzy. Her head was pounding and the fluorescent lights overhead were just a little too bright today. Robin came rushing up to her. “What did you do to him?”

“I didn’t do anything. What are you talking about?”

“Killian, He quit this morning.”

Her stomach flipped. “What?”

“I just got a smug call from another local affiliate saying they closed a deal with him. Corporate is having a shit fit. We are in real trouble Emma. What the hell happened?”

Emma shook her head. She was fuming mad.“He quit to go to one of our local competitors? We don’t need Killian Jones. Halfwit troglodytes are a dime a dozen.” She walked into her office and slammed the door.

“You better be right because you better find one by the end of the week or we’re cancelled.” called Robin.

The station workers all stopped what they were doing and looked towards Robin.“Not really I’m just – That’s just a joke, everybody.” He walked into his office and shut the door.

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Emma began pacing in her office. Her head was pounding and she could feel the tears pooling in her eyes. How could he do this? He said he turned down the offer. Did he hate her that much? How could he betray her like that after everything she did for him? She heard a little knock and Ruby peeked her head in the door.“Emma, is it safe to come in?”

She nodded.

“You’re crying. What’s wrong?”Ruby walked up and hugged her tight. She held on to her dear friend crying into her shoulder. She told her what happened with Killian at the restaurant and then outside her hotel room. She told her how she broke up with Graham and how she only got him to like her by doing the things Killian told her to do.

“Oh Emma. I’m so sorry.”

“I can’t believe I allowed myself to feel anything for him.”

“Well you felt enough of something to break up with Graham.”

“It just wasn’t right Ruby. It wasn’t me that Graham liked. It was just a façade invented by Killian Jones. The real reason I’m sad is because I know he felt it. I know he felt the way I did and Killian just walked away. He just walked away and now this! He walked out on the show too. He’s a fucking coward!”

 “We’ll pull this together. We always do. You can do this Emma. I know you can.”

She picked up a tissue from the box on her desk and wiped her face and blew her nose. “You’re right Ruby. I’m sorry I wasted any tears on that coward. Let’s do this. We’ll find a replacement by the end of the day.”

She pounded on the desk. “Call the agency and tell them we need some candidates. At least we get to retain the segment name. That’s one thing Killian Jones is not going to get the satisfaction of having and that is the Fucking Ugly Truth!”

“Ok, you got it. I’ll have the men here in an hour.”

She hugged her tight. “Thank you for being such a good friend.”

“No problem. You know I’m here for you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He called Jefferson on the way home from the hotel. He knew the bastard would be awake because he just left him no less than two hours before. He set it up that Jefferson would negotiate with the other local affiliate and get him a position. He didn’t want to leave Storybrooke but he couldn’t be near Emma. Not anymore. Not with the feelings he had for her. He couldn’t put himself through the pain of loving her and watching her with another man.

No matter how much he wanted her to be happy, he wanted to be happy too. At least as happy as he had been before she came into his life. He had a good thing going. Look after himself and he wouldn’t get hurt. Who cares if the women were walking in and out of his life through a revolving door. He was having fun. He didn’t need her.

He walked into the new station, took a deep breath and approached the reception desk.“Killian Jones here to see August Booth.”

 “Hey Killian! Over here I was waiting for you to arrive. Come with me I’ll show you where you’ll be working.”

He followed him through the sets back stage and into the new studio room. The set was black, gray, and red. It was a lot bolder than he was used to over at Good Morning Storybrooke.

“What do you think of your new set? “asked August.

Killian pursed his lips together and nodded.

“Your old station retained the title of your segment so we named you “Morning Madness with Killian.”

He nodded his head.“Love it.”

A portly man with brown curly hair came walking up to greet them.

“Killian, This is John Little your new producer.”

He laughed and clapped the man on the back.“You know what I like best about you John.  I don’t want to have sex with you at all.”

“I’m relieved to hear it.” Said John raising his eyebrows.

“Well Ok, let me show you your office.” said August.

Killian nodded and followed his new boss towards the office area. He would just push the fact that he missed her out of his head. He needed a clean start.

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She’d locked herself away in her office for the day. She had so many feelings swirling inside of her and didn’t know what to do with them. She couldn’t believe he left, he left her and he chickened out.  That kiss was too amazing for him not to have felt anything for her. She felt it on the dance floor too. They had chemistry on so many levels but he left her.

She continued pacing as she thought about what to do, all she knew was that their show was now in danger, which meant her job was in danger and that was the only thing in her life she could count on.  She heard a soft knock on her door and then it cracked open showing her friend’s smiling face.

 “Emma, I’m ready for you. I’ve got the candidates assembled.” Said Ruby.

“You, checked them out?”asked Emma.

“Yeah, lewd and crude comes to mind when I think of any of them.” Said Ruby.

“Ok Let’s go.” said Emma.

Ruby assembled all of the candidates to replace Killian in a small area of the station. The men were wandering around reciting lines in different areas of the large room. Ruby pointed her towards the back corner.

“There they are – Killian Jones replacements.”

She looked at the pool of men that she had to choose from. It wasn’t as bad as the weathermen but there were definitely some that she wouldn’t put on camera. She observed them from the side and quickly made up her mind pointing to each candidate.“Yes, no, no, no, no, fuck no. ”

Ruby handed her the call sheet and headshot. “O-O K. So you’ve chosen this one.”

“Will Scarlet. OK he’s got a good name. Tell the others to go home and let’s get this guy prepped and ready.”

“OK.”

Her head was pounding and she just wanted to get out of there. She needed to go home and sleep this hangover off. She also needed to scrub Killian Jones off of her body and out of her head.  “Listen, can you prep him for the festival tomorrow? Go with the discussion about Men being Full of Hot air.”

Ruby gave her a concerned look. “O-Ok, sure sure. Are you alright?”

“I will be. I’ll let Robin know we found a guy and I’m going to head home. I’m not feeling too well.”

Ruby pulled her in for a big hug. “Ok, take care of yourself Emma.”

“Thank you Ruby. I don’t know what I would do without you right now. I’ll see you bright and early for the festival tomorrow.”

Ruby nodded and walked over to inform the candidates of their choice.

She walked towards Robin’s office , knocked on his door and peeked in.

“Tell me you have good news Emma.” said Robin.

Her head was pounding and she felt like she was going to burst into tears.“Yes, we have the guy. The replacement. His name is Will Scarlet. Ruby’s going to brief him for tomorrow and I’m going home.”

Robin’s face was full of concern.“You ok?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I’m just feeling a little under the weather. It was a long night. See you tomorrow.“

“Alright, take care of yourself.”

She walked out of the office and kept going until she reached her car ignoring all that were in her path.

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 She had a melt down when she got home. Thankfully Baelfire was there to sop up her tears. That cat might be trouble most of the time but he does know when she needs a furry shoulder to cry on.

She turned off her phone and made sure her blinds were tightly shut. She didn’t want to see Graham if she could help it especially knowing that she really wasn’t the girl for him and she didn’t want to be anyone but herself from now on. 

She soaked in a hot bath, put on her comfiest set of pajamas, settled into her bed with a bag of chips ahoy and the remote control. Lucky for her there were several romantic comedies on that allowed her to cry out her feelings.  It was just what the doctor ordered.

She woke up refreshed and ready to start the day. It was the day of the balloon and wine festival, a big day for the station and for the town. Coverage of the event was important and she was praying that their replacement would get the job done. She couldn’t take being made the fool today, especially if Killian would be there.

She chose one of the dresses that Killian helped her pick out. She had to admit the man had good taste. It was a form fitting teal dress that wrapped across in front with a silver closure on the side. It showed just the right amount of cleavage for work without making her look trashy.

She let her hair hang in loose curls. She actually liked the freedom that Killian helped her achieve. She didn’t think she could go back to being quite so tightly wound up now that she knew how good it felt to let loose a little. She still had her control freak tendencies and that wouldn’t go away but she knew she could be a bit more flexible now and it wouldn’t kill her.

She turned on her phone and she had a text from Ruby telling her to meet her at the fairgrounds. There were no other messages. She sighed, grabbed her things and headed to the site. She had a pit in her stomach as she worried she might run into him. She wanted to remain professional and her job was important to her. Even though that thought ran through her mind, she still couldn’t help thinking that maybe she put her priorities in the wrong place. She’d let her career be first for so long that she’d lost sight of what she really wanted.  Hopefully she would get the chance to find it again.

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The Balloon and Wine festival in Storybrooke was in full swing when he arrived. He’d forgotten how beautiful the balloons were. It had been awhile since he had been home to partake in it. He had a lot of memorable experiences at the fest. A lot of women’s names who he couldn’t remember that were happy to use him for the day and never call him again. He shook his head when he thought about it. They were empty memories.

He carefully walked past the area where Emma would be filming her segment. He was able to dodge Ruby and was surprised that Emma wasn’t there controlling the situation yet. The beautiful blond was nowhere to be seen. He rushed by quickly. He still wasn’t ready to see her. He needed time to heal and he’d forgotten what that was like to have his heart stomped on. He needed to think about his segment. This pain was the fuel he needed. It just proved he was right about women.

“Hey Killian” said John.

“John.”

John pointed inside the truck at the monitors. “Let’s get you setup over hear near the news van. You can watch the coverage from the other stations here.”

He rubbed his hands together and sat down in the director’s chair right in front so he could watch.“Ok, sounds good.”

 He was curious to see what Emma had concocted now that he wasn’t there. As good as she was he knew they could never really replace him. At least he hoped they couldn’t. He started to feel anxious about what happened. Her career and the show were the most important things to her. He’d left her high and dry, like a coward, but he had to think about himself. If he let those feelings take over he’d be crying in the trailer.

He sat back and let the make-up folks begin as he watched the monitor intently.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 The town was a buzz. This event was always well attended not only for the food but the balloons were beautiful to look at. She loved watching them launch. It was one of her favorite activities to do in Storybrooke. Usually their segment was over early and then she got to spend the day walking around and taking in the atmosphere.

She spotted Ruby setting up for the segment. She’d scoped out their position weeks ago to make sure they had the best view.  Ruby was talking to Will. Will was a tall, lanky man. He had dark brown hair which he kept neatly cut short to his scalp. He had big brown eyes and a baby face. He was wearing a dark leather jacket and dark wash jeans with a white button down shirt.

“Hey Ruby.”

“Oh, thank goodness you’re here. Emma this is Will Scarlet.” said Ruby.

He grinned like a schoolboy and extended his hand. “Oi, How are you?”

He had a thick accent and seemed a bit rough around the edges. She gave Ruby a look and took Will’s hand. He had a firm handshake that seemed to linger a bit too long. “I’m your producer Emma. Just listen to what I say and follow my directions. If you can do that we can get through this.”

She pulled back her hand and wiped in down the side of her dress.

“You got it.”said Will with a wink and a smile.

“Ok, let’s practice.”

He climbed into the Balloon basket behind him. “Oi, How’s my face? Not too shiny yeah?”

Emma shook her head.

He turned his face in all directions towards the camera. “Which side is better? right, left, or full frontal? I want to get my good side in front of all the ladies.”

“Just face the camera ok? Can we go over your intro one more time? We don’t have much time.”

He nodded.“I’m Will Scarlett and this,  is the Ugly Truth.” He pointed his hands out like guns, pretending to shoot the audience, then raised his finger to his lips and blew on it as if he were getting rid of the smoke.

Ruby was hiding her face and she stood there feeling dumbfounded. “Ok, lets lose the finger guns.”

“Oi, but the guns are my signature move.”

“Unless the NRA is paying your mortgage this month I say lose the fucking guns.”

“Alright, no need to get your knickers in a twist.”

“Show time” said the camera man.

“Ready Ruby?”

Ruby nodded.

“3.2.1 we are live” said the camera man

“I’m Will Scarlet and this is the Ugly Truth. Peace.” He held up two fingers in a peace sign.

“Robin’s not going to like that.” whispered Ruby.

Emma nodded. This was so embarrassing. What were they thinking putting this guy in front of the camera. He was in no way a replacement for Killian. She could do it better herself.

“Most of you are watching this show so you can learn how to get chicks yeah?  Let me assure you are in good hands. You’re looking at a guy who has personally had sex with over 137 women.”  He pointed back to himself with two thumbs.

Emma slapped her forehead.

“Most of them conscious.” Said Will.

Emma glared at Ruby.

“I’m sorry.” whispered Ruby.

“We’re here at the balloon festival and I’m supposed to be telling ya how men are full of hot air, but I think we all know that it’s the ladies that are full of crap. Just because she says no doesn’t mean she means no. If that were the case I’d have only 90 women – whoa .” Said Will.

Emma pulled him out of the back of the basket and pushed him aside. He was a complete and total moron. He was also probably wanted in several places for his disgusting behavior. Ruby was scrambling and she could hear Mary-Margaret and David covering for them over the monitor behind them. She put the ear piece on, grabbed the microphone and stepped into the basket replacing Will.

“OK we’re back – alright keep rolling” said Ruby.

“I’m sorry but Will Scarlett will no longer be able to do The Ugly Truth, which should come as no surprise since men are completely unreliable. Take Killian Jones for instance, he up and quit the show without so much as a word. You think you know what men are going to do, you think you know what men want to do, but when it comes right down to that moment where they need to step up and I don’t know make a move,  they **chicken** out! “

She leaned against the side of the balloon and glared into the camera. “Those big, strong, brave men that we’ve been reading about in novels and watching in movies since we were nine years old, that we’ve been dreaming about, yeah, They don’t exist! That’s a fallacy. They don’t exist.”

She shook her head. “Men are not strong, men are not brave, men are afraid. Even if they have a moment in a hotel elevator and it’s totally romantic and full of potential, men are incapable of copping to it because, **Men are weak**.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He was getting his makeup prepared and watching the Ugly Truth Segment on the monitor in front of him. He was surprised to see the wanker they chose to replace him. “Oh, this should be good. Turn it up would you John?”

This looked like it was going to be a train wreck. He couldn’t help smiling. “This guy is a bloody git. Oh Swan, what have you done? Corporate’s not going to like that.”

 Then suddenly the screen went crazy and when it came back to focus Emma was in the basket holding the microphone. She looked beautiful and pissed off at the same time.  He listened to her speech intently and his blood started boiling. She has some nerve calling him out on live television and calling him a coward. He got up and ripped the papers from his collar and pulled off his microphone.

“Killian, where are you going.” asked John.

He didn’t even bother turning around to respond to John. He needed to get to Emma. He rushed through the crowds and found the area that he saw her crew preparing at earlier. He walked up behind her and jumped in the basket.  She looked surprised to see him and her mouth agape. She rolled her eyes as he took the microphone from her hand.

 “Hey!”

“Let me tell you something about women.”

She moved to the opposite side of the basket putting distance between them as she watched him intently. Her heart nearly leaped out of her chest when she saw his enraged blue eyes staring back at her.

“Women would have us believe that they are the victims; that we men break their hearts for sport. They say they want true love but all they want is a check list. Is he perfect?  Is he handsome?  Is he a doctor? For you men who are lucky enough to fit the criteria don’t kid yourselves they’re not sleeping with you. They’re sleeping with a carefully calculated set of venal choices, money over substance, looks over soul, polish over principles, no gesture, no matter how real or romantic will ever compensate for a really impressive list of credentials. “

“This coming from a man who’s never made a gesture other than this one” She shook her hand making a lewd gesture towards her crotch.

“So the _elevator_ wasn’t a gesture?”

She rolled her eyes and huffed out a breath. “The elevator was a moment of passion, followed by a moment of panic on your part apparently.”

“Panic. Swan, I came by your room.”

“Yes, But then you ran away.”

“That wasn’t panic. That was an unwillingness to compete with the walking checklist that was in your bed.  You should be thanking me.”

She rolled her eyes and pursed her lips.

 “There you have it folks, that’s The Ugly Truth. A girl in heat for two guys will always choose the one with the better resume. “

“That is bullshit! God I hate you so much I just swore on live television!”

“No you hate yourself for being so shallow.”

“Off we go” said the Balloon operator.

“Where are we going?”

He pointed up.

He made a move to climb over the edge. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

She crossed her arms over her chest.“Oh well that’s a shocker your bailing.”

“I wouldn’t recommend that.” Said the Balloon Operator.

He pulled back when he realized they were at least 30 feet off the ground and rising fast. She pulled him back when he appeared to falter. “What are you doing? God what is wrong with you?”

 “So who wants champagne?”asked the Balloon operator.

He huffed out a breath and looked out to the side. He was fuming. “I’ve got a great idea why don’t we pass the time with you telling me how much fun you had having sex with Graham?”

“I broke up with Graham right after you left you jackass.”

Emma grabbed the microphone and handed it to the balloon operator.

He turned to face her locking into her gaze.“What?”

She was fuming. How dare he call her out on something he didn’t even know truly happened. “Oh, Oh yeah that’s got your interest. Well if you think we’re going to finish what we started, you are out of your mind. You lost your chance buddy.”

 “Oh come on Swan, I never had a chance with you.”

“You’re right I had a momentary lapse in judgment when I thought you were more than you are but you aren’t, clearly.”

“Oh yeah, what does that mean?”

“I’m Killian Jones.  I like girls in jello.  I like to fuck like a monkey. Don’t fall in love it’s scary.” said Emma in a mocking tone.

“Yeah it is scary. It’s terrifying especially when I’m in love with a psycho like you.”

“I am not a psycho.”

“I just told you that _I loved you_ and all you heard was psycho. You’re the definition of neurotic.”

“No, The definition of neurotic is a person who suffers from anxiety, obsessive thoughts, compulsive acts, and physical ailments without any objective evidence of … “

He cut her off. “Emma, Shut up. Yet again, I just told you that _I’m in love with you_ and you’re standing here giving me a vocabulary lesson.”

She looked at him and their eyes locked. She could see his blue eyes searching hers. His soul was laid bare to her. She took a breath. _He loved her. He loved her. He loved **her**._

“You’re in love with me? Why? “

“Beats the shit out of me Love, but I am. I’m hopelessly and completely in love with you. I can’t stop thinking about you and when Graham opened the door; my heart fell to the floor. I’m sorry but I couldn’t bear to see you after that. I had to leave. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

She shuffled close to him and looked him directly into his beautiful blue eyes and smiled. “Killian Jones, you incredible jackass, I love you too.”

His eyes danced in the light and he smiled. She leaned up and pressed her lips to his softly. He responded and cradled her face in his hands. Their kiss was gentle at first, she pulled back and smiled making sure this wasn’t a dream. He leaned forward nipping at her bottom lip, wrapping his arms around her and deepening the kiss.

 The electric current was rushing back and forth between them. She could feel the magic in the air and she was lost once again in Killian Jones.  She felt like she was floating and this time they really were.  She heard a cough and pulled back. She completely forgot the balloon operator was with them. “Oh, sorry about that.”

He had a boyish grin spread across her face. “Yeah, Mate. Sorry about that.”

He was holding her in his arms and he wasn’t letting her go. She snuggled with her back against his chest, his arms around her waist and they looked out over the horizon watching the balloons all around them.

He might not have had all the criteria on the list but he had what counted, he loved her and she loved him. They spent the duration of their balloon ride huddled together, snuggling, kissing and drinking champagne. It was romantic and even he admitted he loved it.

 

 

 

 


	9. Me & Mrs. Jones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello lovely readers! This little epilogue concludes this story. I hope you’ve enjoyed my rendition and like this little ending I put together for them. I wanted to end on a little extra fluff. Thank you for reading my story, Your comments, reviews, and questions were amazing and I love to hear from you. They totally made my day.

Chapter 9/Epilogue: The Ugly Truth

Killian came back to The Ugly Truth and _Emma_. He never felt right taking the job at the new station and after his no show on the air during the Ballooning Festival they didn’t stop him from leaving.

 Things between them settled into a nice rhythm now that their feelings were out in the open. He enjoyed spending time with her and even conceded that he became somewhat of a romantic with her because it was easy. He couldn’t think about her without smiling so surprising her with the occasional rose on her desk or candlelight dinner was not unusual anymore.

He had to admit that being in a relationship had its perks for him too. He had a key to Emma’s condo and spent most of the evenings with her. One night he walked in to find her dressed in sexy red lingerie, black high heeled boots and her hair was wildly curly. She had dirty dice and a bucket of edible body paint ready to play. He was never so happy to be a canvas in his life and would happily admit if she asked that he was losing the game on purpose.

She also made a habit of actually _talking dirty_ to him over the mic on a secure channel. She may look like a princess but she had the foul mouth of a seasoned professional. It was their little joke but the fact that she did it for him did make him feel special.

Every now and again she would do it while he was on the air. It got him so hot and bothered that he couldn’t remember half of what he told the audience during the segment. He just watched her cracking up in the booth. Later she told him it was payback for the panties incident at the restaurant.  

She was great with his family too. She often helped with Henry to give Ariel a break so he had the perfect cover for his surprise. She thought they would be going to the local park for bike riding but he’d enlisted Ariel and Ruby to help him come up with something perfect. They’d been dating for about six months and he thought it was time to go away for the weekend.

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She never thought that this would be her life. The last six months had been amazing. She woke up most mornings wrapped in Killian’s arms nuzzling close to him. If they woke up early they would make love in and grab something quick for breakfast as they ran out the door. She would make a point of waking up early; the man knew what he was doing.

The segments were getting a lot more depth now that he was giving a bit more of the woman’s perspective too. He seemed to appreciate her desires as well; after all she reminded him that he wasn’t the only person in the room who might need a little reassurance. He always laughed when she threw his advice back at him but in doing that she was also validating him so she was ego stroking both ways.

Mary-Margaret and David were expecting a baby. After taking Killian’s advice their marriage got better in a lot of ways. It was sometimes hard to pry them apart for shows. They were so cute together. David was over the moon and of course already predicting it would be a boy. They were proof that Killian’s advice worked and there would be a living person to show it. He reminded her of that often when she had objections to his segment ideas.

He made her life better in a lot of ways. One of them was through his family. She didn’t have any family so the fact that Ariel and Henry were so willing to take her in felt really good.  Ariel was so happy to see her brother finally happy.  He also seemed to surprise her regularly but the fact that he was so at ease with her around his family surprised her the most. They would take Henry sometimes over the weekend to allow Ariel to have a life outside of work.  

Henry’s first date with a girl was to the Sadie Hawkins dance. Killian was the proud Uncle and acted as their chauffeur for the evening. He was really good with him. She loved seeing that soft side of him that he only saved for his family and now for her.  She also imagined what he would be like if they had kids someday.

 He also tried hard to fit in a little romance for her. Who would have thought Killian _“Man-Whore”_ Jones would be such a romantic.  He would leave her single roses on her seat at the office or in her car for her to find. He would pop out from behind corners and steal a kiss when no one was looking.  He liked leaving her breathless and wanting. He would just laugh and go back to work.  She got him back by turning him on by talking dirty over the mic. She liked being about to turn him on, she who he deemed a prude was quite the _temptress_ in his words.

She even got him to double date with Ruby and Victor. It took some coaxing at first and just a little extra special role play the night before involving a bucket of edible paint but he agreed. It turned out that Victor was a fan of his show so they got a long great. It was nice to have a couple to go out with sometimes too. She caught him watching her from time to time and the look of adoration on his face sent sparks right through her.

They planned to take Henry to the park on the weekend to go bike riding. Ariel was going to a nursing conference and they were going to be helping out. Henry was going to stay over her place for the first time. She should stop kidding herself though because technically Killian had been living with her for three months so it was really their place.

He’d stayed at her place almost every night and taken over half of her closet and half of the bathroom. It was gradual at first but she encouraged him by giving him a key. He was so touched by the trust she put in him with that gesture. She’d already given him her heart, the key just seemed inconsequential.

 She wanted to show him her quiet thinking spot. She hadn’t been out there since her half date with Graham. She wanted to create some new memories there and reclaim it as theirs. The weather would be perfect for a picnic and bike riding. She just had to convince him of it. She bought some fuzzy hand cuffs and satin pink lingerie that she wanted to surprise him with. This might be the perfect time.

~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saturday came and he had to change his plans a bit after a special night with Emma involving handcuffs. The minx had him screaming yes to her plans by the end of the night. She drove him wild but this was only a small give in comparison to what he planned to ask her for today.

“Emma, Love, are you ready?”

He sat in the chair holding Baelfire as he waited for her to emerge from their bedroom. She was right about this sneaky cat, he was always on the prowl. He heard her heels clacking along the hardwood floor as she entered the room.

His mouth hung open at the site of her. She was wearing a light blue sundress that showed off her beautiful soft curves, a pair of cowboy boots and her hair was tied back in pigtails, a fantasy come true for him.

Her gorgeous face was smiling wide showing her beautiful dimples. He loved that she remembered that he had a fantasy about her as a cowgirl. She never ceased to amaze him.

She twirled in front of him.“So do you approve?”

He was dumbstruck. He blinked hard. “You look amazing Love.”

She was beaming. “Well I know you had a fantasy about me as a cowgirl so I thought I would give you a little tease today.”

“Yes, love and you have now made it nearly impossible for me to want to leave the house.”

He scooped her up in his arms and spun her around kissing her gently on the lips. She pulled back laughing.  “We have to go, we can’t keep Henry waiting.”

He put her down slowly grabbing her hand and pulling her back for another kiss when she started walking towards the door. “Keep your lips to yourself. There will be plenty of that for you later if you are a good boy.” She teased.

 “Bloody Minx.” He swat her on the arse and she jumped, laughing loudly. He grabbed the picnic basket and patted his jacket pocket to make sure the box was there one more time.  He looked down at her orange tabby and smiled. “Wish me luck Baelfire.”

He walked quickly to catch up, fumbling with his phone as he was fast on her heels.  She was packing things in the back when he approached. He pretended to be talking to Ariel on the phone about Henry, speaking loud enough for her to overhear his false conversation so she knew that they wouldn’t be picking him up anymore.

“No Henry today?”

“No Love, Ariel said we should just take the day to ourselves. Her trip got cancelled so she and Henry are going to an amusement park.”

She smiled and took his hand.”Sounds good to me. I get you all to myself.” He leaned over and kissed her softly. “Aye. Sounds good to me too.”  He opened her door and she slipped into her seat. She watched him smiling as he ran around to his side of the car.  

He liked that she slipped her hand into his while they were driving. He brushed his thumb over her hand and thought about what it would be like to see her wearing the ring. He was nervous, excited and hopeful that she would seem him as a worthy husband. He never did ask her what his score was on her check list but by the way she looked at him, he didn’t think it mattered to her anymore.

They arrived at Emma’s special spot in the park. The setting was just as beautiful as she described. He hurried out the car and around to her side to help her out of the car. She smiled up at him. “So chivalrous.”  He lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss. “Of course milady.” She laughed and swatted him on the shoulder.

 He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have her. He pulled the basket from the back and she grabbed the blanket.  She too his hand in hers lacing her fingers through pulling him along.”The perfect spot for our picnic is right this way.”

She led him across the rocks to her favorite spot near a waterfall. “I love it here. I come when I need some time to think and reflect on everything. You know being tightly wound comes with its drawbacks too. Thanks to you I’ve felt more relaxed than I have in a long while.”

“I’m glad I could help with that.” He surveyed the scene in front of him and it really was the perfect setting for what he had in mind. The waterfall was rushing and the sun was peeking down at them through the trees. Emma’s hair was all aglow under the sunlight. She looked like an angel.

“Love, you sure do know how to pick the perfect spot. I would bet that it’s secluded enough that no one could hear us if you were interested in a little fun?”

“Play your cards right and we could test that theory.”

She loved that she could get him so hot and bothered. She put on the cow girl outfit because she thought she was going to be able to tease him all afternoon but with the absence of Henry things might heat up a little sooner than she thought.

She had fun teasing him the other night. Handcuffs and a feather was all it took to get him to submit to her demands. She smiled at the thought of him writhing under her and the way he held her after. She still liked a little control in her life.

He looked so good today in a light blue, short- sleeve, fitted Henley and dark washed jeans. His dark hair was a little unruly as the wind blew giving him that sexy disheveled look that she loved so much.  In spite of all his bravado he really was a generous lover and if he kept giving her that look of adoration she might be the one who can’t wait this time.

She helped him spread the blanket on the ground.  He had a bottle of champagne, chilled in the basket. He lay out all the items for the picnic on the blanket and put the basket over to the side. He had her favorite sandwiches from Granny’s, pasta salad from the Doc’s deli, and a pail of Strawberries with a little whipped cream on the side.

“These are all my favorite foods. You are so sweet.”

“I know what my lady likes.”

She leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. He smiled.”Love, would you grab the napkins out of the basket?”

She got up, walked over and bent down to get the napkins. When she turned around Killian was on bent knee in front of her holding out a ring box with the most exquisite ring she’d ever seen.  The diamond was sparkling radiantly under the sun. Tears began to pool in her eyes immediately. She covered her mouth with her hands to hold back the sobs.

“Emma Swan, you can drive me nuts but you also drive me crazy. You’ve proven me wrong at every turn and I’m happy for that. You’ve opened my eyes and made me see what I was missing in my life, you.  Would you do the honor of making me the happiest man in the world and Marry Me?”

 She bent to her knees in front of him, cupped his face in her hands,  looked into his beautiful  blue eyes full of hope, leaned forward pressing her lips to his, and whispered “Yes”.

The earth started to spin again for him. For that brief moment, time stopped until she said yes. His heart was thumping so hard in his chest he thought it was going to pop out. He pulled her forward and held her close as his mouth claimed hers.

Her warm lips tasted of the salty tears that were slipping down her cheeks. He leaned back brushing away her tears, trying not to become tearful himself. He pulled the ring from the box and placed it onto her extended finger.

She held out her hand under the sunlight and it was a perfect fit. “I love you Killian.”

“I love you too Emma.”  She climbed into his arms and he pressed little kisses all over her face tickling her until she fell to a fit of laughter.

Needless to say neither of them could wait until they got home and the perfect location was just secluded enough to make that spot special for many reasons. Any previous memories were completely erased as they lay on the blanket in a state of bliss.

She snuggled into him and looked at her ring. She was going to be Mrs. Emma Jones.  

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They had a whirlwind engagement. She was so happy that she had to pinch herself sometimes to make sure that it was real.  Ruby and Ariel helped her with the planning of a simple ceremony at Killian’s request. She was happy to oblige considering they were compromising very well. She couldn’t expect him to change his spots overnight.  He did help with some of the decisions and made some suggestions on his own which was great progress from where they started.

Ariel and Ruby helped keep her control freak tendencies at bay so that she could actually relax on her wedding day. The wedding went off without a hitch and she was happily Mrs. Killian Jones.

As they looked over the large table filled with their friends and family he made the perfect toast to them reminding everyone that True Love trumps a checklist any day and that with the love of the right woman the truth _isn’t ugly at all_.

 


End file.
